Shiroshitsuji
by Angel Descendant
Summary: The thread resembling trust is loosening. As is the master's and butler's. A thread. A thread losing its strength, its connection and itself. Will their thread continue to hold?
1. Prologue

**A/N: *Sigh.* Thank goodness I finally made a Kuroshitsuji fan fiction. I really, want this to be like 'okay' and all but pardon all the grammatical and typographical errors in my work. It's been a long time that I had read books on grammar. **

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**Prologue**

Sebastian Michaelis carefully took off the black eye patch covering his master's right eye. He noticed the pentacle sign, a brilliant violet that still was in the eye making him trouble slightly.

It was supposed to disappear since their contract already ended.

Or did it?

He smiled at the thought that their contract was still intact. Though he craved for an exceptionally succulent meal with the soul of the young Phantomhive, he still thought his hunger was not enough to eat this tainted soul. _Indeed, things are getting really interesting. _

"What are you waiting for, Sebastian? Is my soul not delectable enough to your liking?" came Ciel's impatient bark.

"No young master. It is just, our contract still isn't complete," answered the butler, making a deep bow.

Ciel looked dumfounded, delighting Sebastian as his master stood up, shocked.

"Not complete?"

"Yes, young master."

Ear-splitting silence erupted in the ruins of the setting. The before-hopeless victim now promised survivor whose vapid eyes before became uplifted eyes, but he closed them again, and grinned.

"I order you, Sebastian."

Sebastian smirked. He was bored, thinking of his outcome after his master's death but since he was going to be Ciel's butler a little longer, he was 'happy' that he will have to follow Ciel Phantomhive a little longer than he expected.

"Take my soul already."

Or so he thought.

Sebastian's eyebrows creased a little, but he quickly maintained his composure.

"Are you sure Young Master? If I do that, you won't be able to take revenge to those who took your parent's life."

"I'm sure of my decision, Sebastian," was Ciel's prompt reply. "If I keep putting vengeance as the main reason to live, then what is the point why my parents gave me life? My actions before... already made my soul dark... corrupt... grotesque... vile. If I continue living, I would only hurt the people around me. Hate. Hate. I dislike that thought now Sebastian. I don't want to etch that thought in my mind anymore. I-I- I don't want to hate someone, Sebastian!" He said firmly, to his servant's dismay.

Now, it was the butler's turn to be lost for words. He only stared at his master, his eyes no longer cool and calm, but a hollow gaze. He stood up and ever so carefully **slapped** his young master with his only hand, which propelled Ciel a good 20 feet to the aged dust-fed wall.

"My, my, my," Sebastian sneered as the little Phantomhive struggled to stand. "What happened to 'all humans are not meant to be trusted' statement before young master? Are you, by any chance becoming more vulnerable?"

The demon walked to his fallen master and offered to help his master to which Ciel refused. "And also, I cannot help you with your request Young Master... since..." he proceeded to carry his master with his only arm much to Ciel's annoyance. "Since the contract is still incomplete, I can't take your soul."

"But-" Ciel yelped as he tried to outgrapple his butler but to no avail.

"Now, we must go back to England Young Master. You have to take back everything that was taken from the manor and to re-establish the Company." He then effortlessly held his master like a nursing father and called out: "Undertaker!"

"Sebastian don't-" Ciel screamed as he made another attempt to be free but then white light enveloped the two and made them slowly disappear.

"That bookmark of his sure is useful, right Young Master?" The satisfied demon smiled triumphantly.

"I...I hate you." Ciel muttered crossly.

"Good. I'm glad to hear that," beamed the butler before they vanished out of sight.

**A/N: Sorry for making them act like that. I know that maybe they're a bit OOC. Anyway, thank you for reading this. I planned this to be a bit longer but since I was out of time I had to make this chapter to a short prologue. Sorry. Please review!**

**I'll quickly upload the next chapter later. **


	2. Episode 1

**A/N: I promise this chapter will set things in motion already since I want five chapters to be published this week. Oh, and thank you for the tip Anxx. I'm really not good with Japanese and also kudos to you and ****rebeccasanfujieijilvr****! Forgive my grammatical and typographical errors and spelling.  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji and the characters but they are of Toboso Yana. Only the plot is what I have credit for.**

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**Episode 1**

**That Butler, Returning**

It was a cloudless, sunny day at London and everyone bustled on with their jobs at the busy city. A child was selling bread at a small bakery while nobles, clad in black were helped by footmen ride on their lavishly-decorated coaches.

They were too busy to notice a dark-haired youngster skim past an alley with a man. They, because of a tailor's incompetence, stole two black silk cloaks and two top hats from a tailoring shop and were now wearing them according to their fashion.

"Is the young master positive he can put on the cloak by himself?" snorted Sebastian as he offered both his hands to tie the cloak.

"I can do it. Don't- oh Sebastian!" cried Ciel as he helplessly watched his butler, already travel-ready, tying his cloak in an elegant knot.

"The Undertaker sure knows what he's doing when he gave me this arm," grinned Sebastian to his Master's dissatisfaction. "Now I can be the perfect butler his master wanted."

"Shut up," fired his master who turned with a swish of his cloak, again trundled through the people-packed West End of London, careful not to touch anything strange as his butler swiftly followed behind him. "We have to find the manor but since London is rebuilt, it's not easy to find your way up to flats you don't know of."

"But Young Master, the manor was destroyed by the fire," said the butler, who handed his master an eye patch. Ciel took the flawlessly sewn 'mask' without saying thanks and tied it impulsively.

Ciel laughed, addressing the remark as a joke. "Then we'll make a new one. Can you do it, Sebastian?" He stopped running and bowed at the demon, imitating Sebastian's 'respectful' address at his butler.

Sebastian didn't even flinch and made a low, fancier bow than Ciel, turning his master's feigned bow a childish compliment.

"Yes, my Lord."

* * *

Elizabeth Middleford continued to stare at the large glass window to the hedge-trimmed landscape below, her eyes unmoving, perhaps waiting, as raindrops began to fall.

"My Lady!" called Paula, her lady-in-waiting, grabbing her mistress' arm and pulling her away from the window. "You'll catch a cold if you let yourself get wet," was another worried statement by the poorly-treated miss as she closed the windows and let loose the velvet-red curtains.

"I don't care," Elizabeth answered back. "I don't want to come tomorrow either. I don't want him."

"Mistress..." The lady-in-waiting couldn't say anything else as she sadly turned back to the door. "You know he can't come back."

"Shut your mouth!" was the mistress' bad-mouthed response, now grieving. "Ciel... he'll come back. I fixed everything... this mansion of his... his company... because... I know he'll come back! He will... he will..."

Elizabeth then knelt to the wooden-furnished floor and continued to weep. "Why won't you believe me? Why won't you _all?_" She threw then a porcelain vase, which the lady-in-waiting, thankfully caught.

Paula then went to her mistress, putting back the precious china to a mahogany table and cradled the young lady. "You really love the young master, Lady Elizabeth." She coaxed as she made a tight embrace at her mistress.

"It's obvious right?" laughed Elizabeth, wiping her tears. "I guess first love really never dies."

"I stand corrected," said Paula raising her right hand as a kind of pledge. Both then giggled together.

"But I wonder," said Paula as she gently touched her mistress' long locks. "Why won't my lady tie her hair anymore? And why won't she wear the pretty dresses the Marchioness often shops for her?"

Elizabeth made a tinkling laugh. "I don't want to be the one I was before. Ciel will hate that."

Thunder then crackled as rain continued to pour down in bullets. But the two young women didn't mind. They continued tittering, not minding the loud sound of the approaching storm, the already-cold water in the bath, and the guests trudging onto the Phantomhive estate.

* * *

"Young Master?"

The butler and his master were walking to a small pathway leading to the manor when the boy came to a halt, his butler following behind.

"I noticed something, Sebastian," said the young Phantomhive, drenched by the gale and weary by the long walk. "Why did the trees already..."

He noticed the towering pine already green and aged; the grass grown and the flowers enticing and colourful, in spite the happening storm.

Sebastian smirked, knowing the situation already. "We must hurry young master. You'll get soaked if we keep standing here."

"Yes," he said, silently scorning the demon and began to walk, this time in big steps.

They journeyed on, both silent as Ciel tried to make the butler keep up, failing to do so since his efforts only make him race up to Sebastian.

It was then Sebastian's turn to stop. Ciel bumped to his butler but quickly recovered, even making a face at Sebastian.

"Does the Young Master want me to carry him?" asked Sebastian with a smile reminding Ciel of poisoned honey.

"I'm a bother to you, am I right Sebastian?" asked Ciel tonelessly turning his head away from the butler's eyes.

"If you want me to give you an honest answer then it would be 'no'," answered the servant, not stricken by his master's question. "I'm only responding to a butler's anesthetics. I have to do the best way for my master's safety. I have to be perfect to please my master."

"Alright then," Ciel cut in. "Carry me." He held out his hands and closed his eyes, as if expecting a painful execution. The butler knelt down and placed his master's hands onto his neck, cautious not to make him uncomfortable and jumped to the nearest pine branch, and then leaped onto the next fifteen feet easily and again and again-

Ciel was already tired and didn't notice the fierce adrenaline they were in as his servant went on springing through the trees in a natural cat-like manner.

"Sebastian," the lad whispered to the butler's ear as his eyes began to droop.

"We're almost there, Young Master," assured his butler as he made another leap. "Don't worry."

"I'm sorry Sebastian."

Ciel's statement made the butler almost lose his concentration as he landed three feet from where he expected to land, but nonetheless, it was still as graceful as ever.

"I'm sorry for saying those things to you," Ciel murmured. "Those words must've hurt you."

"Do not worry. I'm a demon. Words don't wound me like they do to humans."

"Liar."

The demon ceased leaping. What his master said triggered something inside of the devil. He simpered for a while; a phony simper.

"I told you I never lie, like humans do." His tone was no longer human.

They then went off again, but this time the butler acted rather rashly than usual.

"Why won't you admit it? Demons, they also feel pain and suffering. I thought before the same way but then I noticed that sometimes, you just don't respond to a butler's anesthetics-"

"If you talk any more Young Master, I'm afraid I have to silence you," warned the demon further as his actions became more and more reckless.

"You have a heart too, Sebastian!"

Everything was still. Rain now became a mere drizzle. Sebastian didn't respond at his master's bold remark; he only paused for a while and made a magnificent leap toward a twenty yard branch.

"We're here Young Master and..." he said.

Sebastian then jumped. They were greeted by cleanly clipped hedges and an empty fountain. There was also a lass waiting for them.

"It seems like Lady Elizabeth is waiting for you," teased the butler as he lowered his young master.

"Thank you very much, Sebastian. For everything," said Ciel, not minding the rain anymore as he gave his butler a quick hug, stunning him further.

"You won't thank me any longer when the time comes, Young Master," whispered Sebastian but Ciel's statement earlier continued to ring in his ears.

"_You have a heart too, Sebastian!"_

_Do I really? _He thought, as he tailed his young master with a faint smile. _Young master is such an utter fool._

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Elizabeth couldn't believe what her sight was showing to her. This was truly unbelievable. Maybe because she had soaked for two hours in the rain hoping again and again or because of her clouded eyesight by the thick fog, waiting for her 'special someone' to return that she had came up this- this vision: that Ciel Phantomhive was walking on to the muddy path, welcoming her with open arms.

But somehow, he seemed all too real.

"Elizabeth!"

That voice... that cold voice she heard before was now brimming with warmth. This feeling of hers... she was no longer nervous...

"Ciel!!!"

...she won't be hesitating any longer...

_She then ran, not minding the rain, her damp hair, or her dirty dress._

He was no vision.

What she saw in that face of his was no bitter look or scowl...

_She then gave Ciel a tight embrace._

...but a genuine smile.

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**A/N: NOOOO!!! I didn't want this chapter to end like this so easily. I'm so, so, sorry at the sloppy ending I made. I didn't want the chapter to easily end like this but I had no choice since I had, once again, ran out of time. Pardon my sloppiness. *Cries.***

**Please R&R.**


	3. Episode 2

**A/N: To all the readers who ever so faithfully read this crappy fanfic of mine, thank you very much. P.S.: Sorry for making Ciel very OOC in the last chapter with Sebastian. I know, he's a bit *ehem* goody-goody but I wanted him to be pictured as a rather changed person. Anyway, just tell me if you want him to be less OOC and more like a cold-blooded noble. **

**Forgive me for the delay!! Due to laziness and discouragement, I didn't manage to upload this. But anyone please, review! I'm crying right now because no one gives a damn about this.**

**Episode 2**

_**That Butler, Weakness**_

Ciel Phantomhive contemplated on his next move. _Elizabeth really had improved throughout the time I was gone. _The young earl thought as he moved his black rook in level with his opponent's king, to be then eaten by a white bishop.

He glanced at his 'mistress', clad in a white nightgown made of a rather delicate material. He also noticed that she too was looking at his direction. Both turned a shade of pink and gazed to the opposite direction when their eyes met.

"It's been a long time... since we played chess," Ciel said, breaking the silence between the two. He placed a knight to counter Elizabeth's rook. _Thank goodness Sebastian's in the kitchen helping Paula prepare dinner otherwise..._

He imagined himself being quietly laughed at by Sebastian as the butler played the violin. He shivered slightly.

The future Marchioness thought for a while as she led her pawn to a near corner, capturing another one of the black pawns.

"I'm really glad... to play this game with Ciel again," said Elizabeth, with a bit of uneasiness and embarrassment. She was afraid that if she said something foolish, she might vex the young earl and maybe anger him.

"Me too," beamed Ciel further assuring her that he was indeed, smiling again.

She did not notice herself smiling as well.

"Lizzie, are you all right?" said an alarmed Ciel as he pushed the chessboard aside and began dabbing her eyes with a lace handkerchief.

...and crying.

"I'm sorry," was a whimpering reply from Elizabeth as she silently thanked him and slowly backtracked from the little Phantomhive, fearing she had offended the earl. "I mustn't do this... I really mustn't... but I... I..." She remembered something; an important and disturbing thought.

"Are you fine?" Ciel's tone became more and more worried. He came closer and closer to Elizabeth who continued to walk backwards to the door. "Lizzie? If you wanted to win you could have said something earlier and I would have-" As he attempted to touch her, Elizabeth slapped his hand away.

"NO! Don't touch me! I mustn't-" screamed Elizabeth as she tried again to pedal out, then her back ultimately reached the wall.

"What is it, Elizabeth?" Ciel crooned as he walked toward the young lady cautiously.

"It's just that... it's just that... two years... gone... mother thought you dead... tried to find another for me..." she murmured, scared at the boy's reaction.

The string of words quickly made sense to Ciel.

"Two years? What do you mean two years? That I've been gone? That I vanished?" he didn't notice in his hurry to comprehend the situation he was shaking Elizabeth violently.

Elizabeth only stared at his uncovered eye: empty, unfeeling.

"ANSWER ME WOMAN!"

That bellow of Ciel made her heart beat wildly. She was no longer staring at the Ciel she had known five minutes ago. This was the cold Ciel. The numb Ciel. The Ciel full of hatred.

"Yes!" her tears continued to pour. But no longer were they tears of sadness, but of fear. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was no longer your fiancée. I'm sorry that I've been betrothed to another for two years. I'm sorry that you were never pleased with me," She continued to cry, admitting things she did not do. "I'm... I'm sorry that... that... even though..." She buried her face with her hands and knelt down. "EVEN THOUGH YOU HATE ME, I'LL STILL LOVE YOU!!" she then cried out finally telling the earl her true feelings.

The air finally deafened in silence. The night was calm, with a soft, cascading black as the moon showed its pale white beauty in the night sky.

"We'll leave straight early morning tomorrow," said Elizabeth, recovering from the fright and shock as she stood up and opened the door of the large guest room. "I'll have a wedding taking place by ten o'clock." Her face was blank, her voice dull. The door then closed.

* * *

Sebastian chuckled slightly after hearing Ciel's story of the argument.

"Why am I not surprised young master made another woman cry?" he chortled as his master's temper soon outgrew him.

"Shut up!" he said slapping his hand against the one of the terrace's handles. "I never intended to do that to her. It wasn't my fault."

"On the contrary, it's the young master's," said Sebastian with a light chuckle. "You let fury get the better of you and so, you obtain the results." The butler continued in a soft chiding tone.

The earl then stayed quiet for a while. He glanced at the white and radiant moon for a moment, perhaps pondering and then started to speak once again.

"You knew already that two years passed since I... died," he gasped before saying the word. "You knew all along." His hands turned into fists as he recoiled it, to his cotton sleepwear. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You would know soon enough," said Sebastian, as he covered his master with a wool blanket. He then took Ciel's hand "Come now, young master. It's getting chilly."

"IF YOU TOLD ME EARLIER THAN _KNOWING _IT, I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SHOUT AT HER!!" screamed his furious master, pulling his hand away from his butler.

From there, he noticed for a fraction of a second a glint of sadness in the demon's eyes. It wasn't what he expected his reaction to be. He now felt something; a kind of churn in his stomach and his mind wishing he never uttered the thing he said earlier. Was it guilt?

"Lady Elizabeth was a really thoughtful person," said Sebastian, acting as if Ciel's outburst never occurred. "Miss Paula told me that she restored your manor again against her mother's wishes; she took on and continued the Funtom Company, she bought clothes for your sake and changed herself for you. She did these because she _believed _in you, master. Even if the entire England was positive you perished in the fire two years ago, she didn't care-"

"Stop telling me of the outrageous stunts she did," yawned the Phantomhive. "She's just stubborn. A brat who never gives up her faith even if it kills her is what Elizabeth is. Period," he then turned back from the stone veranda and went inside to his dark room, slipping to the covers of his four-poster bed.

"Wake me up tomorrow, Sebastian. Early. I have a wedding to attend."

"Don't go, Young Master. It's dangerous for you to be present there."

"Who will be trying to assassinate me?"

"It doesn't concern assassination. It's the Scotland Yard, Young Master. The dogs have an obsession to bring back a rare bone like you since your unwelcome 'visit' to the Queen before. They even took the three idiots under arrest."

"What a nice way to describe my 'fetching' situation, cat lover." Ciel's sarcasm was still shallow mockery to the butler.

"Of course, young master. I am after all just one hell of a butler." Sebastian then tucked his master to the bed, plopping Ciel's head against the feather-stuffed pillow. "Goodnight then, Young Master."

Sebastian then walked to the door.

"Sebastian, can I ask you something?"

He paused, signalling it was all right.

"What should I do then... about... about Elizabeth's Wedding? Should I come?"

"I only gave you a warning, Young Master. It is up to you if you will take heed of it or not. I am only on the obedience of your decisions."

Ciel looked up his divan for a while and then he called his butler again.

"Sebastian?"

"Yes Young Master?" His tone was still patient.

_Damn, how can he still act so calm?_

"Tell me, did I rub you the wrong way earlier with that attitude I had before? I'm sorry I wasn't nice to you like I did to Elizabeth." He was a bit rueful, silently admitting he was indeed wrong.

"Then continue to not be nice to me. Hate me if you must. I am a demon after all. I was never even meant to be trusted." It was a cold remark and straight to the point. "If you must, Young Master_ never _apologize to me. I'm just a butler. A master, if anything gets out of hand, _does not_ apologize to his butler rather, it should be the latter. It is always the butler who commits the wrongdoing and not the master."

He then turned his feet to the door.

"Sebastian, pack our things for tomorrow. Bring as many clothes and money as you can if we have that. Make sure everything is in order here. We won't come back here for a while."

A cunning smile spread upon the demon's lips, as if awaiting this.

"Yes, my Lord."

"And Sebastian?"

He turned to his master one last time.

"Goodnight. And thank you."

He returned the Young Master's smile and _finally_ closed the door.

* * *

She wandered for a while in her small dressing room. She stared at herself; her fair hair was pinned up in a braided bun adorned with orange blossoms, a small bodice of silk, a small waist and other necessary lingerie were piled up on her fragile body. Her veil was still on the table, her gown still secretly tucked away. A diamond tiara, a gift from her future mother-in-law lay by another table, with her diamond choker and earrings. _I look ugly._ She said to herself as she sat down, tired of looking at herself too much by the mirror.

She always imagined herself on a wedding dress, but not like this. She detested the fact that soon, she would be on that wedding dress, marrying the man she didn't love. Though her groom-to-be was the same age as her, as well as polite and kind, she still couldn't replace him with her ex-fiancée and she doesn't even know why! Heck, she even had his burned-down manor rebuilt and managed his company by herself. She paid more attention to her studies, lived by the English etiquette and did what she could, all to make him like her more in his return. She almost succeeded.

But she failed.

And now, she would be a bride against her wishes. She was foolish. "If only I had postponed the wedding..."

"Then you would've had been able to pick a nicer dress." said a voice in a bothersome manner.

The voice was familiar and Elizabeth almost bawled in happiness. She turned around, to see Ciel Phantomhive, her dear friend and ex-fiancée by the door, fully clad in a black cloak and a top hat. There was no expression on his face; chilling, as Elizabeth might say but she didn't care, when she ran to him, calling out his name.

She now knew; she wanted to be with him. She loved him very much and she doesn't want to marry anyone but him. Now she understands.

As she spread out her arms to embrace him, but he then said:

"Don't touch me. You will soon marry. A sin will be committed if a bride touches another man on her wedding day."

"W-what are you saying? I don't understand Ciel. I-I"

"Didn't you tell me you are having your wedding today? And put on some clothes, for goodness' sake."

It was only when she realized she only had her undergarments on. Mortified, as well as a bit distressed by Ciel's indifferent remark, she hastily put on a cashmere robe near a hat stand.

"Do you love me?"

Those words slipped out of Elizabeth's mouth without her thinking. She was taken aback by her words, but she knew she yearned to know the answer for a long time, and that was through him.

"Don't say such rubbish Elizabeth," said Ciel, looking unconcerned of the query she asked. "If you had to ask a question you must ask significant questions like 'Why are you here?' or 'Will you stay at my wedding?'"

"Fine then! Why are you here and not there at the wedding waiting?!" Her temper simply flared up. This _time_, she already knew his response.

"I'm here to bid you adieu."

"Then I'll come with you." Her voice was only louder than a whisper. Maybe Ciel expected this, maybe he didn't. All she knew was that, she can't change herself after all. She was still that predictable, selfish cry baby who only wanted_ her _way in things and now, she wasn't getting it.

"I don't want a brat like you to hinder my troubles anymore. I _hated_ you, Elizabeth. Let me tell you straight: You're a pest who keeps getting into trouble and making me rescue you all the time. I saved your life many times and yet you still..." Ciel breathed for a while. He was containing his anger. He then bowed his head, pushing his tears back.

"I understand," said Elizabeth, silent tears rolling down from her cheeks. "I am a burden to Ciel. That's why he won't let me come with him." She then took an antique, silver ring from the table and put it in Ciel's hand. He only looked in surprise and disbelief at the precious thing Elizabeth gave him.

It was _his _ring. The Phantomhive ring that was owned by his forefathers; the ring with a shard of the cursed Hope Diamond that he gave a sailor in return of coming back to a blazed London to save his servants.

"I found this from a skipper a year ago. The price was high, but it was worth it." smiled Elizabeth. He was flabbergasted. She was really optimistic, even till the end. Maybe that's why she often gave him strength before, amidst the gloom enclosing him. She was a beacon of hope, which shone even at the worst of his storms.

"Keep it." Ciel then said after a moment of stillness and returned it to her.

She stared at the ring, then at him then continued to grieve.

"I'm sorry I was a bad fiancée," she whispered between tears, covering her face.

"Don't be." was Ciel's remark as he turned to the door.

"Ciel?"

He paused and looked at his past fiancée.

_I'm sorry Ciel._ Elizabeth thought before rushing to him...

...to kiss him.

Ciel was taken by surprise (and angry) by what Elizabeth showcased him. But why was he sad when she let go?

"Elizabeth-"

"I know, I know. That I mustn't do that because I'm a bride," cut in Elizabeth, wiping her tears. "But I'm happy because I saw your smile. Thank you."

"I'll be going then," he then halted briefly. "Don't come stepping into my mansion again." he fingered, with every word a shake.

"I won't," she smirked. "As long as that will make you happy..."

"Good because," he opened the door. "You probably might not see there again. And that ring, consider that as my wedding gift."

Elizabeth was stunned by what Ciel said before the door closed. She stared at the ring for a few minutes and then placed it at her ring finger, studying it closely.

When her handmaidens arrived and showed her a pearl-strewn gown, she shoved it away.

"Please give me a different color." said Elizabeth, her voice then empty. She couldn't contain her feelings of sorrow anymore. "I want red."

"But young mistress red means-"

"I'M AWARE OF WHAT IT MEANS!" she screamed before bursting into tears as the maidens tried to console her.

* * *

"You've really hurt Lady Elizabeth's feelings Young Master," said Sebastian as they walked through the hallways of the Middleford house, invisible to the liveliness of the home because of the wedding. "You even made her wear that color on her wedding day: Red."

"Red-wish herself dead," he murmured dully.

"...."

Both were silent.

"Where shall we go now, Young Master?"

"The tower of London; I heard from the maids that the three were kept there when they turned it again into a prison house."

"But of what use are they?" said Sebastian, who was wishing they wouldn't recruit the three servants who, to him, would cause nothing but trouble.

"They'll be of use, when we take down the people who killed my family," was his defiant answer as he walked faster. "I'm doing this, to not let those people kill other families and let the survivors be engulfed with hatred like me before."

But he noticed guilt staring at him in the eye. He then ran to Sebastian and hugged him tightly.

"It's the only way to protect her Young Master," said Sebastian soothingly, as he patted his Young Master's back. He didn't want to scold his Young Master yet for acting so childish.

He then carried him to a brougham after an hour of walking; Ciel was asleep, apparently tired from all the grieving. He afterwards put his master's head gently onto his lap as the carriage rode on.

_You're really becoming an interesting meal. _He thought as the butler stroke his young master's hair. Ciel's slumber only drifted on. _How long can you think of hiding the truth that you only desire vengeance, Ciel Phantomhive? _

By the time they went down the coach, Sebastian then gave the fine and an extra tip to the driver and continued carrying his master to an inn two blocks away from the tower.

_When the time comes, will you have the courage to kill them, or will your cowardice prevail?_

* * *

Five yards away to where they were walking a person was watching them closely. In the person's hands were two rifles.

"Ciel Phantomhive is sighted." the unknown person said with a faint grin.

* * *

By the time Ciel awoke, it was already night time. He already expected waking up this late, after a nightmare.

It was an ordinary nightmare for Ciel. His parents were consumed by the fire was his dream once again. But what was odd was both were laughing and taunting him as his butler tried to protect him. Then, they burnt Sebastian as they burned as well, highly amused as his butler tried to push him away to safety. But Ciel only stared in horror at the now-hideous faces of his parents, who tried to set him ablaze as well.

He noticed a note, written in an elegant script. It was from Sebastian, telling him he went to search for the servants in the tower and will soon return after buying groceries.

There was then a knock at the door. Then another, and another.

Thrice were the knocks at the door as Ciel sensed something was terribly wrong. He grabbed a pistol from his cloak and opened the door.

A figure in a black suit and mask greeted him, with two rifles in hand, pointing directly at the earl and said in a calm voice, as if addressing a youngster.

"Good evening. I'm an assassin. I've been assigned by the Scotland Yard to kill you, Ciel Phantomhive."

Ciel, without second thoughts quickly aimed the pistol and fired.

* * *

**A/N: From now on, my updates with this story will be monthly. Sorry, but I have school to be responsible of. And please, I beg all of you to review! I may take a long time to update this in June, since the next chapter focuses on how they will regain the servants and their trust. In case you're wondering, Tanaka-san is already dead. It was mentioned by Sebastian in Episode 24. Sorry for not including the other servants here already. I still don't have any ideas how they will live their life after the 'Great Fire'. Sorry too, for not including Grell and Undertaker. They'll show on the next, next chapter. Forgive my delay and the delays of the next remaining chapters. *Bows.***


	4. Episode 3

**A/N: I now uploaded the third episode. This time, there are diary segments of Maylene here to add more back story about their lives before and after the fire. If I add the others' story here, it might exceed the 6000 word mark for every chapter! Sorry too for a minor plot hole in the last chapter I posted. I apologize for that and not further explaining it at all. I know, everything seems slow-paced, but please give me more time and suggest some ideas if you must. Thank you!**

**Disclaimer: The title 'Kuroshitsuji' and the characters are by Yana Toboso. The plot is, uhh, my creation.**

* * *

**Episode Three:**

_That Butler, To Forget..._

_Part 1: __**Maylene**_

Sebastian Michaelis lagged a little as he carried groceries and Ciel's two large trunks to their small inn. He went to the London tower after laying his master to a bed in their slightly dingy room that afternoon. He left from the Tower earlier since he found out after 'asking' and 'finding out' that the servants were indeed placed there but unfortunately, had escaped a year after. He too, bought some tea and vegetables to cook for the young master but, he forgot about the trunks that he left at the Middleford house to look for Ciel on Elizabeth's wedding. He had to return there too, when he noticed it was already night.

It was the first time he failed to remember something.

He continued walking, ignoring that thought.

That it was the second time he was unsuccessful at a certain task. That it was the second time he made a flaw in his entire career as a servant of a mortal.

_I am perfect._

_I am_ perfect.

_I _am perfect.

These were the thoughts of the demon as he raced to the inn, trying to block the troubling thought that he was 'faulty'.

But as he came closer and closer, his thoughts about his imperfect service to his current master simply vanished, for this time... he noticed something was not right.

And it was good.

He smiled a fiend-like smile as he placed _each _item he had in front of a closed bakeshop and ran, with each step a fierce inhuman dash, taking silverware from his pockets.

For then, his master was in danger and he ordered him to kill them.

A great privilege.

Or so he thought as he threw a butter knife one of the ten armed men at the outside of the inn to the head.

By the time the other men noticed their comrade had fallen, he immediately aimed nine pieces silverware to their skulls.

_Bulls-eye._

* * *

_June 14, 1889_

_This is the first time I am going to write at this. I had never written anything before, and I am glad I am going to now._

_I made a promise to write at a diary with two men, both white, one about thirty or so years and another in his adolescence, the former a blond-haired American and the latter an orange-haired English in the fourth cell at the second floor in the tower of London, the same date but two years later than now. We made that vow to make us remember what we were doing this and why since I lost something: my memories._

_The youngest one, asked me and the other why we were there. We both did not answer, since I cannot remember. All I knew, we were taken by the police to that tower, the only thing I had were a pair of broken glasses that somehow felt important to me._

_We became what they call 'friends'. I learned how to make my lips move in a sideways movement, as to smile (as what the boy told me) and how to, when someone says something amusing, to open your mouth wide and make 'HAHAHA' sounds as to 'laugh'. The older man would then tell stories he would make up, and it was 'okay' to listen to. I was also taught by him how to make up stories and then the two of us would share tall tales every night before going to sleep._

_I don't know how we escaped from that prison. I was asleep when the plight took place, and when I awoke, I was in a white room, filled with men in black suits. A man, near his forties, about 165 centimetres, in a deerskin cap with a moustache then pointed a black thing, its nozzle pressed against my chest._

_From there, I instantly knew something I mustn't know. I knew how to take this man down in one move. I knew that the thing he was holding was a semi-automatic pistol that had only one charge. He shot. I dodged but with a 23 and a half centimetre graze and made my right hand stiff to grab his gun arm then hit his neck with a chop. He fell to the floor. _

_One of the men, the one with a tailor-customed black suit (Frabucci?)then pointed another semi-automatic pistol loaded with five rounds at me and said, "Wouldn't you like to know who you are?"_

"_Who... I am..." I had no thoughts about this. I wasn't surprised, or angry that he knew I don't remember my past._

"_You're a killer, Maylene." The man said, with a slight French accent; he was blue eyed, brown-haired, nearly 153 centimeters, in his late thirties. He knew who I was, then maybe..._

"_I'm a killer?" I had to distract him. I tied the blanket quickly as the other people pointed their guns at me suspicious of my random tying._

"_You were, thirteen years ago; since your parents were murdered. Then you disappeared for two years. We tried to find you, and now you returned back to us. Join us, our top sniper: Nike Shooter Tunke-"_

_It was easy; all I had to do was strangle him with that rope-blanket and use his body as a shield to their bullets. The door was only ten feet away. _

_I almost escaped, however the door and windows opened and men were pointing rifles at my chest in point-blank range. I can't get out._

_One of them handed me a piece of paper. A name was written and an address on it in black ink._

"_That's your target. You know the rules: Quick and easy kill. If you want to know your past, you have to work with us. Understand?"_

_I was hungry to know more about myself. So I accepted. I killed the target. No pain, no remorse._

_I killed seven more until I bought this diary. I can't smile even if I rewarded myself with this. I don't know why._

* * *

_August 25, 1889_

_I have my fifty-fifth mission so far. This time, I had to disguise as a prostitute to execute the manager of a well-known brothel, close up. It was the first time I wore a dress. I easily slipped past and blended with the other women. Against my comrade's wishes, I had to dismiss using the broken glasses I had. _

_To die or not to die was the pimp's requiem before I killed him. However, someone saw me. A green-eyed, twenty-three-year-old prostitute was at the door. He only stared at the LeMat revolver in my hand and the blown-up head of his master. I was going to kill him, but I can't. My hand won't let me point it at him so I only knocked him out unconscious and escape, with him at my back._

* * *

_August 26, 1889_

_He awoke really early. I had taken a bath and was half-naked when he sat up. He looked at me, in my eyes for a minute but then his face reddened when his eyes peered down. He turned away and said, "You killed Mr. Rainer. Why didn't you kill me?" He must be used to assassins already._

"_I don't know. My hand won't rise up when thinking of killing you. It won't even now." I could hear my voice, empty and void as I then began putting a black catsuit on. He turned his back on me and I don't know why._

"_Put those clothes on already for heaven's sake!!" he shouted. I didn't understand. "It's embarrassing."_

"_What do you mean-embarrassing?" I finished wearing._

"_It's when-uh- I can't explain it much to you darn! I can't understand you people."_

"_Leave already," I remembered that they were out. Now was his chance to escape. "If they knew that I left a witness alive, they will kill you."_

"_Where are we?"_

"_At our lair; we each have our own quarters to sleep in."_

"_I see..." He was slow. He didn't budge at all._

"_Go already," I nudged him further. "I'll accompany you."_

"_No." It was a firm statement. A statement that already sealed his fate._

"_Dimwit. Don't you fear death?" There was this feeling inside. It was a feeling that burns; like I want to kill him feeling was pulsating here._

"_Do you?" I didn't answer. This man was an idiot. A thick-headed idiot was he._

_

* * *

_

_September 30, 1889._

_It's been nearly a month since he or Francis stayed here. I had to hide him in my closet when I was on missions, and he seemed to like a nice person, like the boy and the man. He was always smiling and laughing, and he didn't want us both to share the same bed. I gave that to him and slept sitting, my shotgun as my support. He said often we should switch. We tell stories, his was about himself. Through his stories I learned more about him than I do about me. He was a university student who suddenly got involved with sex-trafficking and never saw his family again. I now had this feeling in my gut, like I don't want to hear about it anymore. It was 'sympathy' as he said it._

* * *

_November 2, 1889_

_I don't really understand. Whenever I see him, he's like a note I don't want to open. His smile, his movements... He tells me it was wrong to kill. I don't know why he said that and I don't want to know. I'm already the top in our society and I don't want him telling those things. It's 'embarrassing', and disturbing._

* * *

_December 23, 1889_

_I have a new mission today and I declined. They were stupefied. I didn't tell them it was because of him. His words finally forced open my barricaded mind. They didn't mind however and found another of my comrades to do the job. I sent him food again; he told me it was Christmas soon. I didn't know what that word was and he began to tell a story of a child born in a manger. To me, that story was fascinating. He said people give each other presents on that day. He obviously wanted a present. This time, I'm giving in._

* * *

_December 24, 1889_

_I can't find a present for him! I don't know what I'm going to do. I accepted my mission today to get my mind to not concentrate on that thing. Maybe a toy is enough?_

* * *

_December 25, 1889_

_He laughed at my present._

_He laughed and helped me sew my hand-made ruin together. I did not bring any food, and I'm glad I had no assignment today. His face is all I can remember. I wanted to cry at the mistake I made. But he helped me fix the wrongs and turned it to right. He also gave me a present._

_It was those shattered glasses. He renewed those shattered glasses. He gave them to me since he said, he noticed they were very important to this assassin. I couldn't say anything at all since I might utter something foolish. He didn't notice my lost tongue and beamed. _

"_Merry Christmas."_

_I turned a shade of pink. "Looks like Maylene is embarrassed," he teased. I only slipped on the glasses and felt the world though blurry, clearly in my head. It was the first time I noticed his eyes greener than before. _

"_It's just amazing you did this-"_

"_It's love." His answer was simple, a simple yet confusing statement to me. I don't understand people like them._

"_What do you mean by love?" This was another word new to me. I'm learning another word everyday because of him. _

"_When the time comes, I'll tell you. It's what people like you need, aside from pity." He smiled as he began to dance around like a pro ballerina. I then found myself laughing hard. This will be my first and most special Christmas I never had._

* * *

_January 1, 1890_

_It was already a new year. I don't know now. I noticed, something strange happening whenever I see him. I often felt embarrassed when I see him. I now often reject to kill when he advised me not to. I told him my troubles, but I didn't tell him it was him that I talked about. He told me I was crushing on someone. He didn't find out it was him I was talking about. Yes._

* * *

_June 11, 1890_

_I had a mission I thought I mustn't take. I have to help the Scotland Yard locate a boy whose name was Ciel Phantomhive. I don't know what to do. 'I better ask Francis' was my thought until Kelvin told me that the child's parents killed my mother and father. He maybe was bluffing. It's not possible. Kelvin just smiled at me and said it was true. It was now the time for me to take revenge on my parents was what he said. His parents were already dead and he's the last line._

_I told Francis everything. He only embraced me tightly and advised me to not do it. I'm confused but somehow, there was this intense desire here in my heart to take immediate action. I must fight this urge NOW!!_

_That night, Francis told me we should sleep together. I now had a different feeling. But that desire remained. He didn't lie on top of me. He just slept on the other side. I asked him why he was letting me here. He told me he wasn't embarrassed anymore, and because, this might be the last time we would spend this together. He must be planning to escape._

_He then placed his lips on mine, with liquid in his eyes. He then embraced me tightly. He told me that he was a member of an organization Ciel Phantomhive's parents were in. He was assigned to destroy my agency, but he realized he can't, because of me. He can't kill me, even if I had let my guard down. He can't kill me because of love._

"_I love you Maylene," he said as he continued embracing me. I can't do anything. I can't let wet liquid flow in my eyes. I can't return his embrace. But I then said, "I love you, too." I then understood the meaning of love. The feeling of knowing someone important to you; someone you can't hold back of._

* * *

_June 12, 1890_

_I couldn't resist the desire. He had to die. He deserved it. I followed the boy and somehow, something kind of triggered an 'attack'. I felt like I knew him, like he was a significant person for me; like he had a link with the past. There was a butler with him. I've encountered beings like those for the past year._

_It was a demon._

_The Yard told me the plan. They'll surround the place and I'll be the bait. It was a simple plan. It can be done._

* * *

_June 13, 1890_

_I failed. _

_I failed because I was stupid in not following the plan. I didn't just let him take the bait. I didn't take him when he was asleep and his butler was away. I only planned to take him when he woke up, when he pointed that gun at my right temple, and fired. I could've killed him easily. I didn't and continued dodging his attacks. His butler then came and pinned me to the wall as they escaped. I then saw the dead men that butler killed, they each had silverware on their heads. I can't stay at the Agency any longer. I have to finish my mission, no matter what the cost would be. _

* * *

_June 14, 1890_

_I failed again. I let them escape from me again. What now? _

_My comrades then approached me, telling me I should retire since the boss ordered me to. I acknowledged it._

_When I came back to my room, I saw Kelvin with ten other men including Francis. They tied him to a chair, he was yelling. They punctured his right arm with a 12-inch rusted nail and had already torn apart his legs. I could see it; blood continued pouring. When he saw me, he smiled weakly but then yelped again when they took off the nail. Kelvin told me he was happy I brought an agent on their rival organization and congratulated me. I was quiet. No choice. _

_He was communicating silently. He was telling me to escape. They'll kill me too for failing to kill him. He said I should go to him, since he's the person I should be asking about my past._

_He suddenly threw gunpowder. He told me to run-alone. He can't come with me now since he can't walk. I'm going to die anyway, he said as he disarmed a man 2 meters behind him for a shotgun and used it to shoot a small fraction of gunpowder..._

_An explosion was all I needed to escape. It was easily done. But he's dead. Francis is dead. I didn't want this to happen. He died because of me. I didn't feel anything inside. _

_If I didn't feel anything, why then my eyes felt wet?_

_Why then did liquid continued flowing down as I ran out?_

_Why can't I see anything when I had these glasses on?_

_I want to know. Maybe Ciel Phantomhive knows._

_It was cold outside. I had no money, no blanket. I stayed at the Big Ben. I slept inside, unaware of the violent trashing of the rain and the liquid flowing down my cheeks._

* * *

_June 15, 1890_

_I awoke when dawn cracked. Someone was there with me. Someone wrapped wool coverings on my body. There was a bowl of curry by my side._

"_She's awake Agni. She was crying but I think she's okay."_

_I pulled my shotgun and aimed it at his head. So that was it. I was crying last night._

"_Woah!! Easy Miss Maylene. You're safe now."_

_How did he know me? Was he another one of Francis' companions? _

"_We saw you running from that hole there. We kept looking for you. Ciel told us to."_

_He was only nineteen, with black shoulder-length hair and tanned skin. His other fellow was nearly six feet and had light-blonde hair._

"_Ciel told you?"_

"_Oh so you remember about Ciel. I thought you might have forgotten."_

"_No, I don't remember anything about me. All I know is he might know who I really am."_

_He only smiled a wide smile like Francis'. His companion was warily staring outside._

"_You were his maid two years ago. He thought you disappeared after the fire."_

"_What fire?" Suddenly things made sense. That was what that boy and man heard at the guard._

"_The unexplained fire two years ago. You should've asked me, Prince Soma about that."_

_I remember him. I remember everything. It suddenly made sense. That organization tricked me._

_I then grabbed his hand._

"_Can you take me to Ciel Phantomhive?"_

"_Not without an empty stomach."_

_They made me eat that food. It was tasty and hot. I liked it. We then travelled using that woollen cover. Prince Soma called it a flying carpet._

_We then came across an inn. No one saw us, since it was early. _

_There was Ciel Phantomhive, already dressed._

_I bowed deeply. "I'm sorry, young master."_

"_Rise, Maylene," he said, authority crowned on his head, mature and adult-like. "Do you want to go with me? I'm on a journey. You'll no longer be a maid, but one of my fellow travellers." _

_I placed the glasses on my face. _

"_Yes my Lord." This was what Francis wanted me to do. This was it. I'm doing this for him and I will not fail this time._

_He then smiled at me, shocking everybody._

"_Oohh!! The little earl is smiling! The little earl is smiling!" Prince Soma sang._

"_Shut up Soma!" Young Master chased._

"_Sir Agni, please escort Maylene inside while I prepare breakfast." I finally saw him close up: The family butler of the Phantomhives._

"_Of course, Master Sebastian." I was then carried off inside by Agni._

_When he carried me up to our room, maybe, he asked me if I was all right._

"_Why were you crying, Miss Maylene?" He asked, as he placed me in a bed, a large four-foot bed. _

"_Someone gave his life for me." I said, my voice no longer empty, but full of emotion. I was 'crying'. _

"_He gave his life for me even if he was from a rival organization. He loved me even if death was the price. I feel like I want to cry all day long!" _

_Agni only smiled sincerely and hugged me tightly. _

"_Continue letting it out Miss Maylene. Shhh... I'm here don't worry. I'm here."_

"_I love him. I love him!" I reciprocated the hug and cried at his shoulder. I don't know how long it took, how stiff my neck was. All I did was follow his advice and cried._

* * *

**A/N: Sorry if you were letdown at how long you had to wait for this chapter. Please be satisfied! I'm sorry for this. I'll upload another diary from Finnian's and Bard's later this month. I'm really sorry too for OOCness of Maylene's character. Hey, if you can't remember anything, how are you going to act? **

**Now I have a resolution: Whether people review or not, I'm okay with that. I'm going to finish this fic this year and no one's gonna stop me!**


	5. Episode four and a half

**A/n: Sorry for the slow update! I had many things going on plus it's because of my busy schedule. Finnian's part will be divided into two since his story is longer than Maylene's or Bard's.**

**Warning: May contain bad words and strong issues that aren't suited for children.**

**Disclaimer: Kuroshitsuji is by Yana Toboso.**

**

* * *

**

**Episode Four-and-a-half:**

_That Butler, Berserk_

Part 2:** Finnian**

"I still don't understand this 'fatatatata' we're talking about Ciel," yawned Soma as he launched, yet another foot at the sofa.

"If you told me that earlier, I would've let Agni be the one talking and not you." snorted Ciel Phantomhive as he again took a sip at his black tea.

They were discussing how and where they can find the other two's whereabouts like Maylene's.

"It was all Agni's doing that Maylene was brought here and agreed to help us. The information she had, is useless in my opinion in finding Finnian and Bard," he later added, crossing his legs and once more, placed his lips against the cold porcelain teacup.

"You should've simplified that to me earlier! I already found their whereabouts. If you told me about that than talk in riddles and deep English, I would've told you."

Ciel ignored him. "Agni," he called when the Yellow Butler entered, carrying a plateful of biscuits that Sebastian continued making in the small kitchen of their inn. Agni looked up, listening earnestly as he placed the plate on the small table. "How much did you dig through the information regarding my other servants' whereabouts?" Ciel then began nibbling a round, sesame-sprinkled cracker.

"Hey just ask me Ciel! Do you really think I'm that much unneeded?"

"I'm afraid I do not know the answer, Lord Ciel." bowed Agni apologetically. "My Master won't tell me anything regarding the debt we owe to you. I'm afraid only my master has information since he never tells me what clues he obtained."

Ciel stared at Soma with his mouth slightly agape.

"You do not jest, Agni?"

"I swear by the goddess Kali I do not."

Soma merely folded his arms and began to laugh like a snobby child. "You still think of me as unneeded, _Earl_ Ciel?" he said, with every syllable dusted with sarcasm.

"You win, Soma. Just-"

Soma then sat in a gentleman position and took a piece of paper from his coat and spread it on the table. There were lists of addresses in them. He placed his finger randomly on one.

"It was pretty hard locating the other two, it almost seems like they disappeared without a trace," he said in a rather business-like manner, surprising both his 'friend' and butler. "It might seem crazy, but I managed to locate Finnian. He's here," he continued pointing at an address.

Ciel instantly snatched the sheet and read the address. "But this is London's port!" he said in amazement.

"He'll be leaving tomorrow," smirked Soma as he took the paper again. "You two, Sebastian and you must disguise yourselves and apply now."

"Apply for what?"

The Bengal Prince continued grinning smugly. "Do you know seafaring? It appears there'll be an expedition to America."

"But what about Bard?"

"Oh him? Well it seems Bard's trying his best avoiding us." Soma then poured the hot tea to his mouth as Ciel stared, repulsed at his activities.

"He's pretty much seems to have regained his memory. He's been moving place to place. But I seem to have a theory to where he's hiding. He's in England, in North Yorkshire." He confidently pointed at an address as Ciel read.

"You said he's moving a lot right? How are we going to catch him if we are going to America?"

"Never fear, little Ciel," said Soma, mock-hugging him tightly and Ciel tried his best to pull him away. "Agni and I'll be the one taking care of that business. We'll bring Bard back."

"You promise?" Ciel eyed him suspiciously.

"Of course!!" Soma said as he smiled broadly and gave the earl a tight hug. "Promise. We still can't thank you enough after what you did two years ago. It's a pleasure helping you."

"Get off-SOUMA!!!" he said heatedly and then bursting into a loud scream which made Soma release him from his grip. "By the way, you said you returned to your country a week after I 'was gone' right? Why did you return?" He then said as he dusted off his clothes.

The birds were finally heard singing outside as Soma left, followed by his butler.

"Oi you! I asked you a question- darn it!" He then sat on the same velvet-embellished armchair and resumed eating a biscuit.

"Is the Young Master mad?" chuckled Sebastian from the kitchen door as he then refilled Ciel's teacup.

"It's nothing Sebastian," Ciel said, acting to not be surprised at the demon's sudden appearance. "You might've heard what he said right? Prepare our departure. We'll leave by tomorrow morning."

"Yes, my lord." bowed the butler with a small smile, his eyes slightly twitchy at Ciel's sudden shift from warm addresses to cold orders.

"Do you know why he didn't answer my question, Sebastian?" said Ciel as he sipped, this time with loud sucks to try irritating his butler.

"It seems to concern his family," Sebastian smiled, not noticing his master's sipping.

"Family problems?" Ciel laughed off. "Don't tell me. He got kicked off his own house?"

"It appears so..."

"So that's why he's been helping me around so much." Ciel laughed. "You may go now Sebastian." He then continued to titter, reduced to tears and stomach aches.

The butler only went through the inn's door, still hearing the Phantomhive's guffaws, this time he was annoyed that his master was laughing out of shallow happiness.

He then noticed something dart onto the cobblestone street. Something with a long tail, black fur and a small pink nose. It was a cat.

Sebastian only smiled benignly as he chased after the creature.

--

Maylene once again placed her ears at the doorway. This time, she heard steps pacing at her direction. She immediately jumped into her bed and wrapped herself onto the covers. The door opened, accompanied with the smell of breakfast.

"Miss Maylene?"

That deep, slightly accented voice made her sit up. Agni's slightly childish grin greeted her warmly. "You were listening earlier, weren't you."

His last statement wasn't a question.

She jerked a little; lying was of no help. "Yes." She gave in. "But..." She paused and looked away.

Agni lowered the tray carefully onto the bed. "But what?"

His gentle tone shook her slightly. _I don't want to say something foolish._

"Forget it," she said, this time staring at the food. "I shouldn't have eavesdropped earlier. It was wrong."

The butler stared at her for a while, his smile never leaving his face.

"Are you all right now?"

Her lips then softly moved into a faint grin. "I'm okay now. Thank you for everything."

Agni fished something on his coat's front pocket. "When we were trying to find you, we came across your house. It seemed to have been burned to the ground however," he held up something for Maylene to see. "We found this. Miraculously, it still is in one piece." It was a golden-shelled locket, embedded with vine-bordered decorations.

She took the locket and stared at the gold casing for a moment and then opened the lock. Inside was a small sepia picture. A picture of a man and a woman; the man seemed to be in his mid-thirties, his body wrapped on a tailcoat and his eyes were almost shaped like hers, the woman meanwhile looked to be in her thirties too, her hair put up in a bun and topped with a headpiece adorned with daisies. In her lap was a child, curls positioned on her head and a smile on her face.

Everything then became a whirlwind of memories as her mind painstakingly tried to piece it together. An overwhelming emotion then gripped her, as she finally remembered the people in the small photograph.

"My family. Me, mama, papa..." she could only produce a faint smile but deep inside, she was overflowing with happiness. She suddenly lunged at Agni and embraced him tightly, knocking down her food and making the china shatter as it touched the ground in the process. But she didn't care.

"Thank you very much."

The prince's servant made a wider smile as she peered down and returned the embrace.

_I'll take care of the wares later. _He thought, imagining Sebastian's expression at the mess.

--

"At the tower bridge," said Ciel as he made another turn at the mirror at his plain white sleeved shirt and small brown puffed shorts. "I might be gone for a month or more so just..." he inhaled as if not about to throw a fit. "Don't. FAIL. You have plenty of time."

"Aye aye cap'n." said Soma as he saluted. "You go on now." He then waved a lace handkerchief which made Ciel throw a shoe at him.

"Try to act different for once!" said Ciel as Sebastian returned the shoe. "I'm leaving then." He then stormed as the inn's door closed with a SBAM.

Soma then let out a smile.

"Ciel's really nice Agni." He then turned to see him giving a long box at Maylene.

"Why did you say so, master?" said Agni in a rather clueless expression.

"He never asks about secrets. He really knows the meaning of privacy. What a respectful kid."

He then opened the door.

"We're going. Agni. Miss Maylene."

"Um, master Soma..."

"Don't hesitate, Miss Maylene. It'll be a grand adventure going to New Yorkshire."

"But prince-"

"Tell about it later. Right now, we need to find a wagon big enough for us."

"Master Soma!"

"WHAT?" said the prince, finally losing his patience as he turned at them after walking at the streets for a few minutes.

"It seems like we have forgotten to pay the hotel fare, prince."

There was a touch of mockery in Maylene's voice, with the furious shouts of the innkeeper.

"Okay..." Soma pondered for a minute. "RUN!!" he then yelled with the mad dashing of feet. The maid and the butler only stared at its other and followed the prince.

--

Ciel looked at the ship they were about to board on.

"I seemed to have forgotten the inn bill." he said to Sebastian.

"It seems so. I could hear the prince's voice this far away."

Ciel then straightened his brown hat, secretly tucking his hair.

"We're going, Sebastian."

--

_May 7, 1889_

_Hi diary! My name's Finnian, but you can call me Finny. I'm really, really happy finally meeting you. I just had my salary, and since you're the only thing I've been eyeing on, I bought you!_

_I only remember a little about myself. I don't know anything about me except my name, which I found printed inside my shirt. (Uwaahhh!!!) I was a prisoner, but I escaped, with my friend (old man) and miss maid. Someone took miss maid when we were asleep. I was separated with old man when the men after us found us, and I couldn't keep up with the old man's running. I then hid myself, so I avoided the men catching us._

_I then found a job, as a builder. I was the one carrying the heavy thingies. I think I'm strong because they're always ordering me around heaving those large stones. I don't mind it. It was fun! But one day, they kicked me out when I accidently hit someone and made him fly away. They gave me my salary, and so we meet. Hope you're not mad..._

_--_

_May 9, 1889_

_I finally found a job. There was a piece of paper scattered around the dock that said they need someone who wants a profession, and I signed up. Hooray!_

_I have never ridden on a ship before. This was where I'll be working on. The splashes of the foamy waves and the wobbly movements of a ship is something worth a try, right?_

_I met the captain! He said the ship was for the people who'll be performing plays and asked if I _**truly **_wanted to join. I said yes and began my work. The first job I did was keep the ropes secure while the other men tied it. The mast was pretty heavy but I prevailed. (YAY!!)_

_The sleeping place we had was beside the galley. There were many men sleeping with me, but were very old (like old man). We slept on fishnets weaved together. There was an ancient-looking person, who was sleeping on the floor. I let him sleep on my hammock (the fishnets were called that way.)_

_--_

_May 10, 1889_

_Oohhh..._

_The ship being wobbly probably is too much diary. My stomach is heaving._

_Only joking!_

_Sorry sorry sorry! Please forgive me for playing a joke on you. I did a lot of orders by the old men. They were very nice and made friends with me! There was also someone here, my age._

_He looked pretty. That long black hair and light green eyes were so cool and pretty! When I was about to make friends with him, he told me to 'back off'. (Meanie!)_

_I really tried making friends with him. I really did! Promise, I did! I would walk up to him and smile at him and asked him to be my friend. _

_He must've been tired of my constant nagging that he threw me a big pointy thing (called a sword, said Mr. Boot) and drew his too and challenged me to a duel where if I win, he'll be my friend and when he wins, I won't be annoying him anymore. _

_I declined his offer. I'm too scared to be hit by a sabre and to hurt him too. What if we got hurt? What if we bled to death? I'm too afraid of what the outcome would be. But, when he returned his sword home, and was about to leave, I didn't notice my mouth getting the better of me._

"_I take back what I said earlier. I accept."_

"_You accept?"_

"_No! That was a complete misunderstanding!"_

_Oh no!!! What to do-what to do-_

"_Alright then." He was so cool! Drawing his sword like that and pointing it to my face was beyond coolness! But wait... he was going to fight me. No, no, no!_

_He attacked, and I ducked. I then took my sword and began saving myself with it as my shield. Scary..._

_Luckily, one of the old men saved me when he pulled the scary person away. But I think he was still cool. He only put off the old man's hand and left. I wish I was like that boy._

_--_

_May 13, 1889_

_We're boarding on land for the performance of the actors with us. (The cool one was also with them.) It was so... I can't even describe it. They were acting, singing, dancing.. Whee! I want to join. No, I don't think I'll join. I might not get accepted anyway. It's pretty obvious. Sigh._

_By the time they were returning, a small girl was about to give a rose to sir cool. But what he did... he only shoved her aside. The little girl really tried giving him the flower, but he only threw it to the ground. The girl then began to cry._

_I can't stand seeing the girl. He was so cruel. The girl was admiring his performance and he-_

_I hate people like that. I HATE PEOPLE LIKE THAT!_

_I punched him with all the strength I had. Most of the old men were wide-eyed and were staring at his face red and swollen._

"_I was wrong at admiring you." I said at him, who slowly stood up, drawing that rapier. "I was wrong at thinking of joining with you."_

"_You..." I'm not scared anymore at him. He was evil. To mistreat children like that._

_The old men tried holding both of us back. Yet, they were not enough for me. That-that man... He is worthy of this._

"_Stop this at once." Oh no! The captain's here. I have to obey or else... _

_I returned to the ship. I was about to sleep when I found out I was stupid in getting mad. I was wrong of letting my anger get the better of me. Wow! Thinking like this means I'm no child anymore. Yay!!_

_--_

_May 14, 1889_

_I continued helping the old men (they're called 'crew) at work. I saw him again. Should I apologize to him? I now don't know. He's probably mad at me. He looked really hurt. There were wrappy-things covering his head. He only glared at me and supped. Now I'm scared again. I don't know what to do. _

_There were the other people who were with him. They were very nice and kept apologizing to me on his behalf. It was easy making friends with them._

_--_

_May 15, 1889_

_I think I should apologize to him. I was bad. I didn't mean to hurt him. _

_When most of us finally finished our routine for the day, I nervously came to him and bowed my head._

"_I'm sorry about earlier."_

_He ignored me and continued to stare at the waves._

"_H-hey, at least listen to me!" He's really mean! _

"_You didn't notice the gun that girl was holding, didn't you?"_

"_Wh-what do you mean?"_

"_Hmmph... She was hiding a revolver. Were you blind?"_

"_Then why did she not use it earlier?!"_

"_I don't know either. She's probably an amateur."_

"_You're too paranoid." I then said. He_ was._ If only he smiled then maybe..._

"_And you're too simple minded."_

_I didn't answer. I don't want getting into a fight again. _

"_I forgive you anyway, for your idiocy."_

_What?! I didn't thought of it at first, but it really was true. The way he said it..._

"_Thank you." I smiled. He was nice. At least it shows that people have some good in them too._

_It's almost time, soon I'll be friends with him. Aren't you happy?_

_--_

_May 20, 1889_

_I'm really, really excited diary! The performing people want me to be on their show. Though I was only a tree, I was still going to play something, right?_

_On the ship, in the captain's room we began our practice. And then I tripped! No! I made another mistake!_

_But they only helped me up, with smiles and giggles and told me it was a common occurrence, and I need not worry._

_Waahh!! What they said was touching. I then began to cry. Only mister cool was the one not comforting me. He maybe is just too embarrassed._

_I flashed my teeth at him and- surprised him! Hihihi! He even turned. _

_I think that we will be friends. It will be soon._

_--_

_May 22, 1889_

_My first time to be singing at a theatre. Though my lines were short, I had great fun singing and dancing as a tree (I forgot the name). Everyone in the hall liked our performance, especially the cool one's. I'm happy they did._

_The moon was big and bright when we reached the ship. Everything was dark and cold. All was already going night-night when I noticed he was once again staring at the black sea. (Oohhh...cool!)_

"_It's getting cold y'know." I told him. He should be going to sleep already. _

"_I don't mind." This was the first time he ever gave a nice reply to me. "Now go to sleep." I was waiting for him to say that._

"_I will only go to bed when you go to bed also." I said. I must be strong. _

_He only smiled a smile people like the captain would give when addressed in a thunderstorm. "How naive." He turned his back on me after saying those nasty words. "You really _are _honest and pure. Grow up."_

_Why does he keep saying I'm a child? What did I do, huh?_

"_Then what do you want me to think of the world is like?" My mouth then said. Oh no. Another slip. _

"_I know you think that this world is pretty froufrou." He turned at me, his eyes somehow pierced me. It was not a scary glare, it was like he was showing me what he had witnessed and felt. "Beneath all the glamour are lies. The world is an evil place, where you can't trust anyone."_

_That's not true! That is not true!!_

"_You're wrong. The world is not dark and full of deceit. There are good here and there you know. Everyone may have a good reason for doing something you think is bad. I just noticed that, you too have a good reason for remaining like that; like a cold scary person."_

_He then began to laugh. "You're not the first time saying that to me. I was like you once. It was only when my father killed mother and tried killing me that I realized, the world's not a happy place. People are not what they seem."_

_I couldn't even open my mouth. I just don't know what to say. I really want to contradict him._

"_I found out father really wanted to kill mother. He was a heartless imbecile who wanted nothing more than women. Then when mother confronted him, he slit her throat and threw her body aside," His voice didn't sound like crying. He didn't seem to feel it. How sad. "He proceeded to kill me and- there was a kitchen knife so I-" He broke off, tears were running down. "I just came home from Oxford and- I didn't manage to sustain my education so I landed here-"_

_I then hugged him. Maybe this is what he needs. Someone to make him see that the world is a nice place to live in. I remember... yes, I remember myself, in a white room and-_

"_Stop it!" He then said, wiping his tears. "Shouldn't have told him-"_

"_It was nice, telling me about you." I said. "That's what friends do, right? My name's Finnian."_

"_Wait- I am not-"_

_One way or the other, he needs a friend. He really needs to open up a little._

"_Sigh. As you wish. I am Luke Breccant. I'm only doing this since I'm interested not because I'm doing it for you."_

"_Does this mean we're friends?" Is this real? Whee! We're going to be friends!_

"_I should say more like companions..."_

"_HOORAY!" Aaahhh! We're finally friends. See, it wasn't hard._

_--_

Ciel was half grumbling when Sebastian and most of the crew ordered him to mop the floor of the deck for the fourth time. He looked disdainfully at his shirt, stained by the mop and grime at sweeping the floors in the rooms and the dirt accumulated from many more things unnecessary to explain of.

He imagined his butler's taunts, smiling in a fiendish manner. "If you continue making the floor filthy, I'm afraid I have to give you the worst pottage available... boy." He knew the butler relished his job as a cook, while the Phantomhive was an 'errand boy'. _Damn that demon. _He muttered under his breath as he continued pushing the mop, inches taller than him in much effort all for the sake of making the floor sparkle.

"Need a hand lad?" said a man, carrying a mop of his own and peering at him through green eyes. He was tall, with a young face and strawberry-blond hair.

"No thank you," said the young earl politely, quickly pushing the mop. He wanted to prove to his butler he can do things without him.

The man didn't listen however and mopped the floor in swift movements. "Make sure you clean from all sides. Be careful not to leave a single spot unblemished. Here you go." He said, wiping his brow as Ciel only stared at the spotless deck.

"Can you do the rest?" The man then asked him, a smile on his face.

"I can do it myself thanks." He then muttered. "Please go and resume your duties."

"Oi squirt!" He then heard several crewmen say.

"Perhaps I should go now." He and grinned left the youngster who went to several men. _What do they want now?_

"Why are ye talking to that man lad?" asked a forty year old round-faced bandana clad sailor.

"Why shouldn't I be?"

"He killed many people boy. Ye should be careful around him. I heard he has great strength and can lift this shift without using two hands."

"Can you tell me what his name is again?"

"He's call' Killer Finn. He's a newcomer like the cook and you. 'Bout six months ago, we found 'im on an island. Dead bodies lyin' beside him, with his fists red an' bloody."

"Aye," chorused the other men. "Be careful around him lad."

"Yes." Ciel nodded, and hurried to the galley, where Sebastian was peeling potatoes.

"Has young master gained sight of the second servant?"

"It seems so," the master confirmed. "It seems he has quite a bad reputation."

"Impressive. The boy surely has changed."

"Maybe. When I looked at those eyes of his, I saw a hint of sorrow in them."

"And you pitied them?"

"They're just like those eyes of yours, Sebastian."

--

_August 25, 1889_

_I can't believe it! Luke and I are really friendly to each other now. Also, I'm getting more and more roles in our performance. It really makes me shout for joy because finally I have a family who'll take care of me and love me. Miss maid should be here too. She might smile a lot here._

_Luke is smiling now. He doesn't frown a lot anymore. He also taught me a lot of things. He taught me fencing and sword skills, swimming, singing and dancing a lot better, and how to read and write. He's really nice._

_I won't forget the night we had tonight. There was no moon tonight and the lights of the ship was the only glow of the sea._

"_Thank you Finnian." He told me. Waahh!! Those words were so touching. They were simple and complex at the same time. I wanna cry again and again. _

"_For what?"_

"_For everything. For making me realize that friends are real in this world. I thought you were just an idiot. I was wrong in judging only by looks."_

"_So am I," I agreed. I was sure wrong of thinking him as a scary person. _

"_Can I ask you something Finn?" _

"_Okay!"_

"_Can you tell me about yourself, your past? How you managed to have such a happy disposition?"_

"_I don't know anything." I said. "I guess my recollections are somehow lacking. I only remember a white room, where someone gave me shots and shut me in, without any friends."_

"_So you had a dark past too." He pities me. I should say something else._

"_It's nothing!" I said. Whew! "I don't know how I got out. I forgot." I tried to laugh. _

"_I really want to always smile and be happy like that, Finnian."_

_He's making me blush! No one ever said something like that before._

"_D-don't say things like that." I tried assuring him. This sure is pretty awkward._

_I then ran to bed. I forgot I had many duties to do. I need a good night's sleep._

_--_

_October 19, 1889_

_I'm having a lead role! I'll be playing Tom, the Piper's son. I'm ecstatic! Everyone's very helpful, especially Luke though I hate what he's doing for me. Waking me early and making me memorize those lines... I'm bored to my wits. _

_The captain too, he's very sick today. We're all worried if he dies. I don't want him to die! He's such a good person. _

_Our play will be performed in a week. I hope I'll memorize my lines well._

_--_

_October 26, 1889_

_Our performance was really great. The audience was still clapping at us very loudly. _

_Sadly, when we returned to the ship, the captain was dead. We sang a funeral hymn and were silent for minutes. We had to leave his body here in Italy at the undertakers. This was the skipper's homeland, and we hope his family finds him. I can't stop crying! _

_This was unfair! I don't want captain to pass away. But Luke only called it the cycle of life. I really want to believe, but-_

_I don't want to write about it diary. _

_--_

_October 27, 1889_

_Our new skipper was Mr. Boot. He was still kind and generous, but I miss the captain. He'll remain in our hearts, as the captain who made us sail the seas to perform and make people happy._

_--_

_November 31, 1889_

_We're trying our best in our new play in Christmas: The Nativity scene. I'm going to be the boy shepherd. _

_Luke then told me I surely changed. When he showed me to a mirror did I see myself different. My hair grew longer as did my face. My eyes were still big and green. But I grew taller though Luke was still taller than me. _

"_Amazing!" was the only thing I could say. He only smiled at me and told me this was what life was supposed to be._

_--_

_December 22, 1889_

_Aahh!! We're being attacked by pirates. I'm scared. I'm scared. But Luke said we have to fight back. He then gave me a sword and told me to remember the techniques he taught me. I've got no choice but to arm myself. I'm keeping you here diary. I don't know if I'll be able to return. If anyone finds you, please tell them to find old man and miss maid and tell them, to trust young master, no matter the cost._

_--_

_December 23-24, 1889_

_I don't know if I'll either cry or not._

_Hello diary, I'm happy I finally found you. Well I seem to be lost for words._

_I don't know why I am still writing my plight in these last two days. _

_What I did is the foulest thing an 'innocent' person like me could ever do._

_Only a handful of us survived the plundering. I, Luke, Mr. Boot and 9 more. I don't... I don't want to say their names._

_We were taken as prisoners on a deserted island instead of being left for dead. At the night of the 23__rd__, Luke gave me a sealed letter hidden from the pirates. He told me that no matter what happens, I should survive. I can't move then. Ropes bound our hands and feet. He then 'hugged' me and told me I was the greatest friend he ever had. I told him the same. I couldn't halt my tears as I slept._

_On the 24__th__, the pirates devised a cruel way of our execution. They divided us into pairs and pitted us to battle against each other to the death; the one who wins will be able to return safely._

_All of the remaining crew of course didn't believe what they were spouting. In the end, I was partnered with Luke. All of the crew refused to kill each other and lost their lives, by firing squad._

_We were the last to be summoned. I promised that- that- I- I- I- won't kill him. I wanted him to kill me. For him to escape. I'd rather die but he- _

_He told me to punch him. To punch him until no more life remained in him. I don't know what to do. He then attacked me. Then somehow, my mind went blank. _

_Oh no.. There are wet marks in your sheets diary. I'm sorry. I'm sorry._

_When I suddenly gained hold of my thoughts, I saw the massacre I did. Bodies of pirates were sprawled on the ground, lifeless._

_I then saw him, Luke. He was breathing shallowly. He was battered, his eyes bore into mine, crying silently. "Thank you, Finnian." He then said, as I held him. _

"_I want to tell you a secret," said Luke, staring at the waves slowly pushing itself to shore. "Ever since I killed my father, I changed my name, my identity and who I was before. My real name's Maria. I'm really a girl. Aren't you surprised?"_

"_Shhh...." I then told her. I couldn't cry, but I felt my voice almost cracking._

"_I thought being a man changed me. I was wrong about that when I met you. I was still that hopeless romantic, craving for someone who'll eventually treat me well." Her cracked lips let out a small smile. "And I was wrong of holding back those feelings." _

"_Please don't talk anymore. You're condition-"_

"_I'm in love with you Finnian. I became in love with you when you opened my eyes to the world. The world's really sweet and fluffy."_

"_Please stop." Tears then eventually fell down. _

"_It's sweet... because it accepted me finally of my real self... it's fluffy... because you are here, guarding me until I depart.."_

"_DON'T SAY THOSE THINGS MARIA!!"_

"_My name... it sounds... really... good when you say it..."_

"_Maria!"_

_Diary, I think she was wrong when she said the world was sweet. The world isn't sweet. It's bitter. And salty. _

* * *

**A/N: the next part might be uploaded in late August, along with Bard's. I don't want to keep promises about it uploaded later in July. I have many projects to accomplish.**

**Sorry for the OOCness of Finnian's part. I utterly lack inspiration to write. **


	6. Episode four and a half: Final Part

**Disclaimer: Kuroshitsuji is Toboso Yana-san's creation. **

* * *

**Episode 4: Final Part**

_That Butler, Numb_

--

_December 25, 1889_

_What should I do now? I... I want to die now. Everything's over, and it's all my fault. No one's here to rescue me, yes it's just me. I want to apologize to Maria, for killing her. There's a gun... maybe I can_

_--_

_What happened? I'm now in a bed and there are people talking... Their words, I can hear it. They seem to be talking about me. How they saw the dead people around me, how I seemed to be the one who killed them. Then, someone placed a gun on my head. I want to die. I'm... I'm sorry diary._

_--_

_They're dead._

_I'm scared._

_I think I did it._

_I think I killed them._

_I... killed them._

_I killed those people who tried placing a gun on my temple._

_I killed the pirates who captured me._

_I killed Maria._

_Diary, I think Christmas is not a very happy day after all._

_**Darn**__ it._

_--_

_December 31, 1889_

_They distrust me. The people who saved me don't talk to me much and whenever we were on the same room, they barely talk to me. I'm- I'm trying my best, smiling at them, trying to help them in their work, but they either leave me or ignore me._

_The captain was nice. He told me I can help with the ship if I wanted to. I couldn't help but say thank you. If Maria was here_

_I won't continue that sentence anymore. _

_--_

Finnian stared down from the mast below. The boy was still there, cleaning the floors. He then jumped from it, then into the deck. His mouth barely moved as he walked near the crew, who backed off in retaliation, muttering loose phrases. He then walked in the storage room, his hammock lying between the veal supplies. The other men forbade him from sleeping with them in the crew's quarters. He didn't complain.

He looked at a mirror fragment. It was from a mirror his 'best friend' gave him as a gift, and shattered when they fought off the raiding pirates.

He saw a small portion of his face covered with shoulder-length hair and his eyes less bigger than before. It had been almost 4 months since he noticed he was changing. He then leaned back on a post near the vegetable supply to measure his height, He had grown a lot, and seemed very different.

He could almost stare at the same Luke he knew before becoming friends with him. His cold eyes pierced the mirror.

The shard broke when he continued grasping it harder in frustration.

--

"Cook!!"

"Cook... I beg ye..."

"Damn it! Give me that broiled jack for Blackbeard's sake!"

Sebastian finally managed to give each man their share. The crew wanted second helpings.

"T-tasty..."

"C-cook... food... very..."

The sailor passed out.

"Heaven!!"

"Aye."

"AYE!"

The cook merely sighed as he carried the man to his hammock. Ciel then entered, his face bathed entirely in sweat.

"Finished?" said the butler at him.

"Using an authoritative tone on me now, Sebastian?" was his master's heated response. "Grrr... I hate being a cabin boy... and yet why you-"

The demon smiled, further irritating the earl. "There's food in the galley."

"I know already!!" the young master shouted as he left.

Hmm... It seems young master's stressed. The butler thought as he further trudged into the hallway. But I wonder why he didn't end this mission as quickly as possible. Could it be-?

Sebastian gave a rather evil grin. _So the young master softened. How... _interesting.

--

The cabin boy entered the room. Two men were fighting as the others laughed and made cheers with their beer.

"Drunk..." he murmured as a fellow crewman invited him a glass and then helped himself a portion of the broiled-

"Pig?" He indifferently asked a man in an eye patch.

"What lad?" The person halted as the entire cabin grew silent, for reasons unknown to the young Phantomhive.

"Is this por-" He was about to say the word but another mate stuffed his hand on his mouth, further bewildering Ciel. He wanted to know what was that he said.

"Lad, saying those words instead of calling them Jacks and Grecians is bad luck." A feeble old man warned.

"But that superstition's not very much used anymore!" was his protest as he freed himself from a man. "It was from the 18th century darn it." _Even superstition haunts these men's minds._

"Aye yet-" said the bald man who silenced Ciel earlier but before he could finish his sentence, he fell to the floor.

"No good," hummphed a sailor as he carried the poor comrade through his back. "He reached his limits already."

The earl then mumbled apologetically at the sailor as the others, after a long while, began talking again in vigorous conversation, unheeding of what happened earlier. He then sat on a stool, and began to eat the food with a lust-like edge, drained of cleaning the ship and following orders all day. He then noticed Finnian was missing. He glanced at the cramped galley, but his dark blue eyes couldn't find a trace of his orange hair.

He was about to ask where Killer Finn might be but he noticed the sailors' attention averting to two people doing a match on a long, slightly forlorn table. A chess match.

Ciel immediately forgot his hunger and proceeded to ask if he can join also. The sailors looked at each other and then smirked.

"A match is equal to six glasses of ale."

Ciel immediately pressed a beer glass with a naughty grin. "Bring it on." He said confidently.

The men then applauded.

"The boy's tough!" cheered a man as he pressed his near-empty glass against Ciel's, much to the lad's annoyance.

"Cheers!" another followed.

"AYE! AYE!"

The cabin boy responded to the roars by finishing his chock-full glass. Slightly tipsy, he gestured his beer back.

"More." He pronounced with a cocky grin.

"WOOOHHH!" was the response.

--

The butler wasn't mad. He was_ just _furious. So, he just noticed his young master drinking. Yes, that's just it. He was drinking as he played chess with those imbeciles. When he won, a beer would he take in a single gulp. Six gulps a match.

"AH... cook." said his master when he noticed his horrified expression. "Beer, ale, or whiskey?" His swagger remained, though his face was near red.

"Whiskey." was his butler's simple reply as he sat and the crew arranged the chessboard and 'drinks', his smile faltering a little with his master's every sip.

"Nice cook!"

"Show what ye got lad!"

"Win, win, win!"

The boy then pushed his white pawn forward. He smiled impishly. "Lose. Cook."

"Really?" replied his butler as he calmly placed his knight to eat the pawn and drank an ounce. "My, my my. You can't even think straight."

"Are ya sure 'bout that?" was the boy's sarcastic response (and sip) as he made another of his pawns eat the black piece.

--

"Lost-I-I-"

"Shh... It's all right master," coaxed Sebastian as he cradled the drunk earl to his room, his sanity still intact after a long drink. "Now sleep."

"No! No! I don't want to!!" the earl protested in such a childish manner that made the butler wide-eyed with shock. "I don't want to lose!"

"We'll play tomorrow," he said in the most fatherly tone he could exert as he lay his master to his hammock, quietly assuring himself Ciel won't remember anything in the morn.

"But-but- WAHHH!!!" He then began to cry to the butler's anger. "NO-NO-NO!"

He couldn't take it. "Shush!" said the butler sternly at him, who just stared at him with tears in his eyes.

"..."

"I'm... sorry." He then lay down and stared at him, this time shedding noiseless tears. "I'm sorry... for saying those things to you... mister."

Sebastian was dumbstruck for a moment, contemplating the last time he saw his master like this... so young... so fragile... so... weak. He then smiled at him. "Do not worry... child. It was no insult after all." It was... the first time he ever smiled at the beauty it was, to become a human, to feel the innocence and gratitude he would've felt. He envied it.

"Goodnight my lord." He said, before blowing the flickering candle, all the while producing a smile of contempt.

--

Ciel was muttering curses as he got out of bed. Someone, unfortunately woke him up. His head ached, and he couldn't remember what he had been doing.

The rest were still asleep. He then peered around to who woke him.

"Hey!" whispered someone enthusiastically. "Come follow me at the deck."

"Why?!" said a cross Ciel as he laid his head once more at the fish net, realizing who it was. "And how come you weren't at the feast last night?"

"Hump! Why are you acting like a king now lad? You were a good boy yesterday... Come now, I just want to talk to you."

The un-drunk youth knew the one who woke him won't ever take no for an answer, so he consented. Finnian then carried him with a hum and began skipping as they went outside.

The night was now reaching its end. The sky was now blue-black mist, slowly gaining light with each march Finnian took.

"Down-down-down..." He said cheerfully as he let the boy's feet touch the wood. "I wasn't able to talk to you last night since my mates wouldn't want me in to eat with them. Guess they're scared of me." His last sentence wasn't keen in illustrating good spirits.

"What did you do, anyway?" asked Ciel curiously.

He couldn't let out a smile in the quaint light. "I accidentally killed some of their comrades. Now- back to the situation at hand..."

He threw something in the dark. Ciel was lucky of catching the safe hilt. It was a sword.

"I want you to face me seriously." He smiled as he drew his own sword hiding underneath his cloak. "Disarm me, or injure me, if you are able to."

The lad smirked. "And why should I clash blades with you?" He sneered, retaining the pride he had as a Phantomhive.

"I want to know, if you harbour the same ability like my friend," his face slowly shed his original grin as he spoke. "I know you can use a broadsword, correct?"

"Yes but-"

"Then go!"

Before Ciel could protest, Finnian lashed out and was about to point his blade to his former master's left arm when the boy dodged. Swiftly he charged the blade's tip to his sword hand in an attempt to disarm him but his opponent parried it and tossed his attack aside almost effortlessly. He tried to attack again, pinpointing Finnian's chest but he again blocked it, and sent it back to him, making the lad stagger.

"Too slow." Grinned Finnian at him, greatly annoying the boy. "Improve the way you hold it. Try to predict my movements."

Now it was Ciel who charged, aiming his head as Finnian dodged it. In a quick swoop and a chink, the young master's blade was airborne for a moment but in the next, the edge hit the floor.

His fellow combatant sighed. "You were close." He then placed his sword home and began taking the blade Ciel used. "Guess you're not like him. She thought before attacking you know. It's just that-" He then bowed his head, lost in his reminiscence. "I was too fast-"

The earl panted harder. Never in his life had he tire like this, after a short spar. It was when he noticed also, his body entirely gave way.

"Oops..." Apparently, Finnian noticed it too and carried his master whom-he-had forgotten. "I should've thought of your stamina. Sorry, sorry. Sleep now, don't worry."

The boy wanted to know what Finnian was talking about earlier. Yet, he didn't manage to ask. Soon, his eyes began to droop.

"You know, I feel I have seen you before, but I don't remember." Those words were the last he heard before he slept.

--

_I feel, the crew might involve the boy with the secret loathing they're feeling. I've been seeing him too much since, I remember her with those eyes of his. I'm glad, that somehow, I still haven't forgotten about her through him, yet I'm afraid of what the others might do to him. They might shun him! Oh, what should I do? What should I do? Should I just leave him alone? Okay, maybe. But_

_And somehow, I somehow know that I know him. I can't explain it, but I feel like I knew him before, yet I can't remember... I don't know anymore. _

_I also remembered a lot of things. I had a young master, yet I don't remember what he looks like, or what he sounds like. Could he be-? Hmm. Maybe not. He can't be that boy._

--

"Hoist the sails! Hurry!"

"Damn! The ropes broke. Gall, help me!"

The boy grabbed the mast as he tries holding on against the chaos reigning the skies and the sea. A flash of lightning came and went, accompanied by the loud rumbling of thunder. Rain poured in torrents, as he tried throwing the ropes to certain comrades. He could see Finnian helping the captain steer the ship.

"Damn storm!!" bellowed a bandana covered man with jet-black hair. "Kid! You shouldn't have said that unlucky word."

The infuriated youngster didn't say anything as the storm literally blew his hair away. He was cold, soggy, and now THAT. MAN. WAS. **SAYING THOSE WORDS?!!**

He then saw Sebastian his lips curved. He was obviously enjoying this, as he balanced himself near the edge of the ship.

"STOP THAT!" he screamed at his butler who ignored him completely and continued staring at the waves, three times the size of their boat slapping them cleanly with each wind blow.

"Lad get inside!!" said a mate bearing a crudely-made wooden peg leg under his wet trousers.

"But-" Ciel protested.

"&%$!! For now stop being a pain alright?" shouted that man amidst the howls of the fierce wind. But then he stopped and somehow, Ciel noticed that something else joined in the pandemonium with them.

Something big.

"KRAKEN!!" The man screamed as the others turned their heads and began to freeze in fear at the sight greeting them.

Ciel turned his head to see, unfortunately, he felt something big and rubbery grabbing hold of his waist, and his feet leaving the ground.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sebastian smile.

* * *

**Continuation...**

**Oh man.. the opening's crap and I hadn't had time to draft it, so it might turn, er, uglier than expected. Bear with me as I tell you...**

* * *

The tentacles gripped tighter as Ciel tried taking a rusty knife from his shirt through his mouth. He tried thrusting it onto the creature with his teeth. Unfortunately, he failed even poking the monster. He tried shouting to Sebastian to help him, but the butler continued standing on the deck, his eyes seemingly wild with delight. The sailors below tried with all their willpower to gun the creature down to no avail.

The lad felt himself, nearly flying as the tentacle suddenly bolted downward and he felt himself having the greatest lunge in his life and when he turned his head-

-a twenty foot beak resembling a parrot's awaited him. The pumping adrenaline waited for him to scream, but something didn't.

--

Finnian charged head-on into the Kraken, praying his strength and emotions to not get the better of him as his eyes turned blood-red. He suddenly felt nothingness, as the force of his punch broke through the fierce tentacles, ripping them ferociously as he rushed to save Ciel and tearing apart a generous chunk of flesh with his hands. The wind and rain continued to growl as the beast emitted an eerie, inhuman sound. The others covered their ears as Finnian got back to his senses.

His green eyes searched about and found the young master resting in his back.

Then like a lash of a whip, a tentacle sped up to take the young master. Finnian leapt, and darted forward, straight to its mouth-

Crunch!! The beak broke the moment his fist rested on the target and enabled them to see the-

The Kraken didn't wait for their senses to relax however and pushed its tentacles to their throats. Finnian grabbed one and with all his strength leapt high, the monster finally revealing its colossal form, as it continued to wail. He then thrust his hand into its eye. Transparent liquid seemed to ooze in great amounts...

He, thinking the Kraken will not do much harm anymore let the creature go, tumbling down into the sea with a splash greatly rivalling a tidal wave. When his feet touched wood, he put an unconscious Ciel in Sebastian's arms.

It was an instant.

Suddenly, the numbing sensation returned, he then walked backwards as his knees sank.

"Stay back!!" he warned as the other men tried to come near. His eyes once more were a crimson glow.

If the numbness completely engulfs him, then who knows what the outcome will be.

"Please..." he murmurs, his voice steadily losing control as his eyes continued shifting from ink-green to blood-red. That deadened emotion, if he let it consume him then...

Someone didn't take his heed.

"Sebastian!!" Ciel bellows. Finnian's face already lost most of its color. He placed his hand onto his head, doing his best to control himself. He was losing.

The butler swiftly grabbed both his hand and nailed him firmly at the captain cabin's oak door.

"Do not come near!" the earl ordered the other men who were all shaken by the horrible transformation that greeted them.

"And why shouldn't we?"

Ciel lifted his uncovered eye with a glare.

"Are you daring to question my decision?!"

His voice was furiously ringing at the crewmen's ears. They seemed to recognize the power of the lad's words and made them falter their steps. Sheepishly, they backtracked at once.

The boy continued to walk near Finnian, who gasped for breath as he struggled against Sebastian's frail-looking yet resilient arms. "Control yourself." He then said, his statement another command. His former servant, upon seeing him, tried to break free off the demon's grip as his hands reached out to Ciel.

"I... I..." His once crimson eyes were now green as the two colors fought for the possession of his eyes. From those colour-shifting eyes, clear liquid flowed.

Ciel paced few steps more. "Release him," he said, his voice unwavering.

"But young master-" Sebastian quickly protested.

"Do it. I know what I am doing. And if I may be in mortal peril, you already know what you must act."

All were silent for a moment, as the two contractors stared at each other, red against blue.

"Yes... my lord." Sebastian said conclusively, his voice trembling in agitation. He softened his grip as the berserker rampaged to the lad.

* * *

_July 3, 1890_

_I was able to know how I did it. How I killed them. Somehow, I can finally see even when I become... different. It was all because of tonight._

_You know, a kraken attacked us. It went straight for the little boy and I was able to rescue him but- I nearly lost control of myself. Yet, when the cook pinned me, the boy said he should let me go. When he did, I was about to kill him, the boy and I didn't do it. I can't kill him. My desire to not kill him prevailed because, he seemed to smile at me like Maria's smile, before she died, that is._

_And then, I saw the stock room, and the boy was there, looking at me with the cook._

"_You're not Maria, are you?" I asked at the boy, yet knowing that his answer would be no._

_He shook his head, and then looked into my eyes, and his eyes seemed to even puncture my soul._

"_Do you remember who you are?"_

_I was struck dumb for a while._

"_What happened-"_

"_The others are sleeping." He interrupted, as he once more gazed at me."Tell me your answer now, if you want to know who you are."_

_--_

Ciel stared at him decisively, waiting for his reply.

"Yes and no," said Finnian, as he sat up. "Because... I would be lying if I said no. I know my name, and a bit about myself. I know my name is Finnian and I know that I was an experiment before. I know that I served a young master before, yet I couldn't..." he quieted. He didn't recall the face of this master.

The cook's smile was a scowl yet the boy didn't notice. He turned him by the head and murmured to him.

"Do you want to know who you really are?" His gaze was unfathomable, yet his voice was the complete opposite, exhibiting a surreal kindness that was too ear-squinting to observe. Finnian didn't need to think twice.

"Yes! Of course I do!!" His fierce indignant response was obvious, and Ciel proceeded to ask him another question.

"The journey to discovery has a painful price in store. If you discover the truth, you won't be able to turn back on that truth. Are you capable of accepting this consequence?"

The man shrunk a little, thinking heavily. A minute then passed before his response came out.

"I... don't know what to think. I want to see myself rather differently than the monster I and the crew see. I want to see myself more than that little child before. I want to see myself, removed of the weaknesses I have. So I decide," his eyes emitted a phantom green flame, like a fire that won't fade. "If it means I can be stronger, then I will face it without any further hesitation." He thought of his old captain, who died of sickness, he thought of a smiling Maria, who died because of his incompetence, and he thought of his fellow servants, who might have been dead in their separation. This time, he won't make the same mistake before. He will be able to save them all. And if it means continuing this, then he will fearlessly partake on it.

The boy smiled in a self-satisfied way, probably because the odds were at his favour. "Promise me you won't regret your answer, even if it costs you losing yourself."

"I will."

The boy grinned even wider. "Then I'll tell you something delightful. I am Ciel Phantomhive, your Young Master."

The former servant's features became contorted with deep shock, quickly absorbing the information, and then it calmed, nearly matching the confidence his master displayed. He was clever enough to know it was his master. Perhaps that arrogance was a whiff to revelation, or it was the eyepatch, perhaps too striking for him to not notice. Ormaybe, it was the protectiveness he remembered the butler emitted to the young master, yet this time he felt it... lacking. It intrigued him, as well as disturbed him. He then flashed a smile to Ciel, who looked at him with a don't-tell-anyone-of-our-conversation stare.

"So Young Master, what do you desire me to do?"

"We're heading out with the ship, until we reach our destination."

--

_July 18, 1890 _

_You know diary, I wonder when the end will come. It's been already two weeks and I hope our journey will end soon. It's also strange because I really couldn't nearly accept the cabin boy was my master. I too can't believe that I the crew likes me now. I've been invited a lot at the galley, eating and drinking and betting- It's a nice change. _

_Thanks a lot diary. I thank you for being with me until now. For understanding my feelings and helping me keep my humanity. See, I'm no longer the monster I was before. I can control myself, as well as be able to only show my red eyes when danger arises. Thank you too, for comforting me after her death. I don't know if I can move on, but I guess I'll be supported by Young Master and you. Well, good night. _

_--_

Finnian raised his pen as he flipped the pages of his battered journal. He chuckled a bit when he saw the scrawny writings in the first few pages, and grinned lightly when his eyes noticed the pleasant-looking ones in the later ones. He skipped the pages in the Christmas ones, since he was saddened by the memories it had reminded him. He then saw an envelope slip from the pages, nearly untouched and the rim was still intact. He had forgotten about the letter Maria gave him the night before her death. His hands were shaking as it ripped the top of the envelope with a flourish. Hastily he took the letter, clean-looking and white as he saw the contents.

--

_September 20, 1889_

_Finnian,_

_It might be good to reveal something to you. Time is running out and I want to tell you something quick. Something might befall us. I can somehow feel it._

_Since you didn't know much about yourself, I thought of learning your true identity. I was so damn close too, you know. All I know is, you're in one of the families that immigrated to America 10 years ago. You might've been born there. Since the time I last went there I got hold of many documents. I saw your birth certificate. I don't want to spill it all but_

From there, he noticed the blots spattered on the deceptively-clean sheets of paper, like the writer's hand shook on several places, perhaps thinking twice about the information he might tell.

--

_...would you believe me if I tell you your name wasn't Finnian at all?_

_--_

His eyes widened immediately . Doubt, fear and surprise swirled; what was Maria talking about?

--

_I know it is hard to believe, but I saw a photograph of you, with the name Stephen Murdoch_-

"AARRGGHHH!!!!" Finnian screamed, as his chair fell with a thud, and the letter fell to the ground. His eyes shifted colors- a bloody red...

His blue eye scanned the letter swiftly as his butler placed a blanket on a sleeping Finnian in the hammock.

"This must be it," he yawned as he sealed the letter once more and slid it in a tattered diary. "He couldn't believe it, but he had to know." He patted the sleeping man's shoulder gently; the man twitched.

"Young master, about the information the prince gave us, should we perhaps reveal it as soon as possible?" said the demon, whose gaze continued hovering by the door.

Ciel shook his head. "He's an idiot; he must've never finished reading the letter. Perhaps it's wiser to let him discover on his own, in the United States that is. Maria... the name rings a bell somehow, but I can't point my finger where..."

"There are a lot of Marias, Young Master."

"Not a cross-dressing Maria, that is." The lad smiled. "Plus, her name translates to 'Mary' in English. She must be of foreign origin, this girl..." He flipped the pages of the diary and stops at the near-Christmas segments. "The information of this is bleak. I wonder..." He closed it softly and leaned to Sebastian's ear. "...if she ever died, that is."

The butler smiled. "Do you want to know, Young Master?"

--

It was the third time he had stepped on land after weeks and weeks of travelling. He smiled, as his light orange hair caressed the sun's light and the wind blew, its nostalgia perhaps sweeping him softly.

"Hey Finny, the path's still a long way to go." said a man at him. He nodded and walked, past the sand and the salty spray.

They were heading back to the island. To the island where, his memories had been hidden, and where changed his life forever.

The small, extinct volcano was a far distance away, tall yet forgotten. The palms were formidable looking, and the sand was paler than he remembered.

Fifteen minutes they walked, and for fifteen minutes, he recalls the bitter things he had done there. The blood entangled with the water, the trees smeared with red, and bodies scattered with faces of anguish embedded on their faces-

"Here we are." A crewman's somewhat panting yet triumphant voice called out from his distant mind. He lifted up his head.

Mounds and mounds of sand, lined up vertically faced him five feet away. A mound lined with wildflowers stood out. Finnian nearly choked.

"We kinda buried their bodies here," he saw a bandanna-clad man say. "The 'un wid the flowers, it was the 'un we saw ye holdin."

"We thought dat un mus' be special to ye, so we put flowers..."

He was shaking as he uttered her name. There he went down his knees and let tears fell.

"You know, I wonder what she'll say now, if she saw me like this." He laughed, as he punched the ground hard. "'What I cry-baby you are' she might say. But you know what Maria," he stood up, his fists firmly planted to his sides, a carefree grin on his face. "I'm still going to cry. I'm going to cry and cry until someone else cries for you too." He let the palm trees envelop him, as he the loose sand ran to his hands.

From there he heard sobs and cries behind him. He looked in bewilderment at the tears his other crewmates were letting out.

"Tha' that was so sad..."

"Shh... let him..."

He chuckled at them and looked up at the shimmering sun, his voice clear as he shouted: "It must be warm out there, huh Maria?"

--

"Sebastian, we're leaving."

The butler didn't move, as he continued looking at the grave filled with fresh flowers.

"That was an order Sebastian!"

He obeyed instantly, as his master clambered to walk.

"Maria... what a beautiful name." said the demon to his master, who was lagging behind. The other crew were already at the ship, he thought, waiting for them.

"Young master I wonder... what happened to her?"

Ciel paused. "What do you mean?"

Sebastian halted also, as he gazed at the young master with an elated expression.

"You see young master, that was the only grave where no corpse was present."

"What if..."

"They hid it? I doubt the crew will ever lie at Finnian. On the contrary, I think of the opposite."

"Like, she never died in the first place?"

"Precisely, young master."

--

_September 30, 1889_

_We've finally reached America. The place, was particularly different from the ship, or London. It's a nice change to be here. The crew let me run around. But instead, I helped them with the supplies, and followed Young Master to a place. _

_I don't know how to describe it. It was in the woods, a little house, damp and people seemed to not have been there for a long time. It was spooky, and dirty. Young Master scared me. Whew! Thank goodness I'm pretty brave now._

_Except, my bravery wasn't as strong as I used to have when I saw a photograph; a photograph of me, except that me didn't look a lot like me, that me was a lot older, that me had a beard, and wears glasses, and when I saw the tombstone at the back, I found out that he or that me was already dead._

"_His name was Stephen Murdoch," Young Master said to me when I saw that gravestone._

"_Then Maria was-"_

"_No, she wasn't lying. She just didn't know."_

"_What?!"_

"_You... don't grow a lot Finnian. Maybe, when you reach twenty, you'll even stop getting old and- your name isn't Finnian, or Stephen."_

"_Then what the hell is my name?!"_

"_If I told you that you have no name, will you believe me? You have no name; you are nothing but an experiment, codenamed S-012."_

"_I-I don't understand-"_

"_You are but a part of Mr. Murdoch. You really have no family, friends or nothing at all. That's why the only thing you remember is that white room."_

_I... couldn't smile. I... couldn't laugh. I... couldn't do anything at all. He... might be right... maybe that was why..._

"_Then why do we have to go here? You should've told me in the first place."_

_I never thought that... he will hug me, tightly._

"_I'm sorry... but I wanted you to know the truth with evidence. You might, not believe me."_

"_I wish you did." I muttered, as I cried again. _

_Diary, I wonder what Maria will say now, if she knew, that I was not even human, or real at all. What will she say if she saw me like this, crying in Young Master's arms? _

_But you know what? I still want to live though. For young master's sake, not mine anymore. He gave me new hope that I might be worth something. He helped me stray out of that deceptive light, and into the darkness of the night._

* * *

**A/N: About the long update... I'm sorry for taking so long. It's just that studies, insecurities and hate for myself reigns supreme. This time, I really promise to post Bard's tale and another chapter by October's end. I really, really promise.**

**Anyway, to all who do not review but still continue to read my story, I thank you very much. Why? Because you are reading this, and perhaps liking this story that was made by a fourteen-year-old. To all the unnamed readers who read this, thank you as well as giving me strength to continue. To my classmates and friends who have read this, thanks to you that I still continue typing this tale of mine.**

**Also, I'm changing the title to 'Black or White?' since I think the current title doesn't fit my story. Mine's too, unworthy.  
**

**And, I think, if I can't finish this by December, I'm officially canceling this. Gosh, I'm sorry, and forgive me. It's not because of the people who don't review, or the people who don't comment, but it's because of my busy class schedule, and I realized that writing fanfics wasn't my priority, but my grades. Anyway, I'll try to finish, but if I can't well... my tale of Ciel's escapades will be shut down... for good.**

**See you next chapter!**


	7. Episode five and a half

_I'm verily truly sorry for not updating. Guess you have to wait longer. I'm really, really sorry but I lost my writing skills and I have to improve. So, here's a preview. I didn't change this much. I'm really sorry guys!_

_Disclaimer: Kuroshitsuji is Yana Toboso's.  
_

* * *

_Episode Five:_

**That Butler, Unsure**

Part 3:_ Bardroy_

It was one of those days that he was sitting respectfully at a rug while examining food that the slaves clad in silk saris brought out. It was one of those days that he was sitting with his father, who was just across him, the ruler of Bengal.

It was not one of those days that his ancient-looking father threw a look of deep contempt as he said these words:

"I do not deserve a disloyal son like you."

A pause.

He could only stare in astonishment. His father then clapped his hands briskly. Two armed men came out, dressed in bright Indian clothes with turbans on top of their heads. They pointed their spears at the boy in acknowledgment. "Throw that dog out" was his firm order.

Before he could react, a man with light-blond hair immediately threw him out of the way as he untangled the bandages in his right hand.

"AGNI NO!!" He screamed as that man let out dancing flames and controlling them all with ease.

It was one of those days where everything, the palace, the panicking servants, his father vanished, with a musty room appeared from his sight and only the visage of the man who saved him he saw, wearing the same anxious look like the people in his dream.

"Are you all right, my prince?"

* * *

"Are you truly all right prince?"

"For the last time Agni it's just a nightmare!"

Robin Hood's Bay is a small fishing town located five miles south of North Yorkshire. A quaint little village with green rolling fields stretching a few miles and embraced by the foreign sea is but a facade of what this place really is.

Three people were briskly walking in the tortuous road leading downhill. Carriages would occasionally pass by, but it didn't provide any trouble. People would steal glances at the two foreigners accompanying the girl, but it would only be few. After all, it had already been five days they had first set foot in the town.

"Be quiet!" said the girl, taking of her big round spectacles and putting it inside the pocket of her coat. "We've already drawn enough attention." She then gave them a long cold look.

They could only shrink back.

Their steps slowed as they passed a small restaurant near the coast, and quickly began walking again.

"That's the place right? That's where he's staying?" asked Soma, who was scratching his arm and itching to take his English clothes off.

Maylene nodded.

"We'll visit him after dark. We don't want any attention and-" She showed the inside of her coat, where, inside was a gun's silhouette.

"Ready your weapons. I think Mr. Bard won't go with us without a fight."

* * *

"What are you doing?"

She could only look in bewilderment as Soma began running to the sand.

"_What_ are you two doing?"

Her tone wasn't angry. It was irritated, since the prince, was happily splashing his butler with sea water.

"Aww Maylene! At least have some fun before the big night~!" He teased as he beckoned his butler to build a sandcastle.

Maylene only let out a deep sigh of exasperation. _So much for being strict..._

Before she knew it, her buttocks touched the soft sand, and she let herself watch both her companions enjoy the sun.

* * *

"You don't like this place too much."

She turned her head to see the other Indian beside her.

"Instead of tottering here idly, we should've made more preparations!" she snapped.

"..."

"..haha... HAHAHA!"

"What's so laughable all of a sudden?"

"It's a well-said statement," he wiped the tears off his eyes and once more stared at the horizon. Gulls would occasionally filter, but the unpredictable beauty of the azure sea shone through.

"Agni, stay there okay?" Soma's holler was two yards away.

"Jo ajna" Agni bowed low.

Silence then ticked by. Maylene occasionally let the sand run through her pale porcelain hands while Agni continued to stare ahead at his master. The air ran cold around the two.

Maylene noticed this. "For a nineteen year-old, he doesn't act the right age," she said staring at the prince's direction.

"He's still a child inside. But like your master, he already experienced too much."

She let the peace get the better of her. She still hadn't remembered what happened to the young master. Before she knew it, she slid her fingers across each other's arms. She let a shiver run through her spine.

"You're cold." Agni looked with concern at the ex-maid and proceeded placing his palms on her own.

"What is this?" said Maylene out loud, as her cheeks turned a red tinge.

He smiled at her. "Let's just say it's a way to keep warm."

It did. It only needed a few seconds, and before she knew it, she could feel the warmth between her toes.

"Mr. Agni?" she said finally, her blush getting redder and redder.

"What is it?" He didn't seem to have noticed.

"What really happened before? What I've heard, master Soma was kicked from his own house..."

He didn't put his palms on hers any longer and returned it to his knees as he turned once more at the boats that shifted their way to the dock.

"His father," his smile was erased from his face. "...disowned him."

"Why?" She turned her compassionate gaze at Agni's.

"I do not have the answer to your question Miss Maylene." His reply was icy. "Perhaps we should talk about something else."

"I'm sorry then." She turned her head and let her hair caress the wind and stared at the glittering ocean before them. "Francis told me… that the ocean is a wonderful thing. He said that we'll see it together. But-" She felt her cheeks moisten.

A hand then dabbed her eyes. She looked up and saw him, serenely smiling at her. "Someday perhaps."

She placed her right hand on his. "Yeah."

* * *

The moon was a glowing crescent, a pale croissant amidst the star-spiked evening sky. From here, lamps of candle light envelop the streets, giving the needed warmth from the blue-tinged road, and probably the three's, as they walked down it.

"Get ready." Maylene warned as they went down, down to the dark sign with the name 'Miller's Pub' painted on the front door. Her shotgun was already raised as she picked the door. The others merely nodded, their calm demeanour already faded hours ago.

Creak...

The door lay ajar as they went inside, carefully counting their steps, contemplating what their next move will be. They moved and acted like mice, occasionally pausing to catch their breath.

Step! Step! Step!

Who was the one making that annoying sounds? Maylene turned her head at their comrades. They returned her puzzled look.

Step! Step! Step!

It wasn't them who were stepping so loud.

Step! Step! Step!

If it wasn't them... then...

Step! Step! Step!

Who was it?

"Ahh... so the rumours are true. You are Maylene and Prince Soma righ'?"

The one who said it was the voice they knew so well.

"Mr. Bardroy. Please come with us. No skirmishes I beg of you," said Maylene.

"And serve that sick psychopath like your master. Are you thinking I'm a fool Maylene?"

She immediately brandished two rifles underneath her black velvet coat. "Mr. Bard," she began coldly, retaining her assassin facade. "Either we calmly discuss this or," she aimed the two guns at his head. "We do it by force."

"Hmm... let's see..." The blond, clean-shaven American showed a small button under his shirt. "I guess I'm going with the latter." He then jabbed the button.

Maylene knew this was coming, but it was too late. A hole immediately appeared from below. She threw her coat up to catch the hook from the side as she hastily scooped her two companions.

"Oops..." Bard says with a smirk as he aimed a pistol at the coat. "I forgot about that hook." There were three bangs emitting from the gun.

"HOW SLOW!" She yelled before tumbling to oblivion.

Step. Step.

Bard stared coolly from the hole. "I might've softened up a bit Maylene." He grinned. "But- you're not coming back to that slug anymore. No way will we return." With a swish of his apron, he turns back to the back door.

"No way will I let that brat take control of me anymore, much less order me to kill."

* * *

"Miss Maylene."

That whisper... what is that whisper.

"Miss Maylene."

She doesn't... want to move.

"MISS MAYLENE!"

She woke up, her gun at the ready. Two pairs of eyes were staring at her. From the air, there was the faint smell of gunpowder.

"Thank goodness you didn't light up anything!" she exclaimed, stretching out her hands, yet only feeling the balmy touch of wood. "This crate's packed up with gunpowder."

"We recognize by the smell." Soma coughed, trying not to move an inch.

"We're completely surrounded Miss Maylene by the crates."

She cursed under her breath.

* * *

_July 7, 1889_

_Heya! I'm not stupid or anything, you know acting ya exist and all but no choice anyway, since I've got no one else to talk to._

_You know, the first thing I noticed when I stepped out of the Tower was that… the air's so fresh and cool. Hell, all I can smell there when we were holed up like hostages were our breaths, and I gotta tell you, it ain't pretty, accompanied by the stench of the doomed compares' with us inside . And luckily, we finally got the hell outta there._

_When we were in that tower, I, Finni and Mey we didn't remember a damn of how we all got there. Heck, I even forgot that my name was Bard and my entire existence. When we woke up two years ago, and we were already inside those stinky stone walls. The guards kept their mouths shut when we asked, and I nearly often beat the hell out of them when I do. (Well, I always get slashed by the whip but the hell?)_

_Yet somehow, there was something that held us together. You know, there was this kinda bond between us, even bigger than friendship that kept us with each other. I don't understand (the hell can I) why, but I thanked that damn bond because if it weren't for it, we wouldn't have escaped._

_There was this time of day when Lady Luck shined on our favor (or because the guards were more idiotic than us). I don't know and I don't care how but well a year before, there was a scuffle between two guards. They had too much to drink and were knocked in the head, I suppose. And… well I kinda took advantage of it and managed to- have the keys. Then Finni threw the dirty bowls where we eat our food on their heads, I opened the door and we made a run for it!_

_Damn, it was the first time in recent memory (and I didn't remember much about myself) that I surprised myself with that running. There was this kinda rush that made your feet keep going and going like there was no tomorrow. I kept the lead with Finni holding the unconscious Mey up the rear. And dang, it'll be no surprise with the entire goose chase we concocted that we were noticed (no, I guess mistaken will be a better term) to have escaped. We ran faster than ever as we went down, down the stairs while tearing up the guards with our 'weapons' (a rag, a piece of bone and the remaining bowl) and racing outside._

_We ran and ran as far away as possible from the tower and darn, for all their coats and whatnot, the guards were sure fast! They were gaining on us. I had no choice but to say it._

_"Let's split!" I cried as I rounded on a fork and Finni went through the other. Damn, I know it was a pretty stupid decision, and I lost the guards, yes, but I lost Finni and Mey too._

_And you know what, the morning I awoke from my peaceful slumber, did I receive the greatest shock of my life. My head was kinda woozy, but images flooded back to me, images that seem to connect and piece together to form fragments upon fragments of memory. It made me remember my name, my past and the fire… a year ago._

_I feel better if my memories didn't come back. Hell, I'm happier if I never knew my name or who I was. You know why?_

_Well my memories are back, yes, but they ain't pretty._

_Even more when I remember a kid, that Ciel Phantomhive, who became my master before._

_If it weren't for him, then…_

_Damn… I was his pet. I was his bloodthirsty, vicious pet. Finni and Mey too. We all were._

_We killed and corrupted ourselves, all for the sake of him. Why?! Why, when he's no more than the- the Queen of Britain's dog?!!_

_And the fire… the fire that the guards couldn't stop talking about that raged about through London two years ago… I knew who or what did it._

_Pluto. A demon dog we had. A tamed dog that without warning lashed out of control and reduced the great capital of England to ashes. And despite our silent protests, we had no choice but to kill it, from that Phantomhive's orders. And that was the last I saw of the earl._

_Two years had passed, and there was still no news about him._

_And from there, my legs couldn't take the shock and fear that was suddenly pushed inside my brain. No way, will I ever return there again. Hell… no way will I sacrifice lives for his protection. And no way will I ever let him break the bond I have with my wife._

* * *

_July 10, 1889_

_I have been walking three days nonstop, trying to find that damn address of that dingy apartment we had._

_I-am-not lost DAMMIT!!_

_It's just my mind doesn't remember things as much as it used to. Geez, the youth's so lucky. They still have their memories nailed on their brains like bullets against their targets, with boundless energy to boot._

_And hey, I want to see my wife and my child again! Even though I know, well it might not be a much happy reunion, and I prepared myself for the worse. And though I'm an old geezer, I guess I can handle it._

_I can now remember so well how I met my beloved Rosalind…_

_Oh, and if you think I'm this old romantic that can't even tell a nice love story then stop reading this, dammit! Yes, I'm talking to you reader, and to me from the future, since I know I'll laugh at myself as I grow old._

_Okay, back to my tale. Well as you must know, I was just an immigrant from New England, and an illegal one at that. We also had no place there at our hometown, since my dad was a miner who died on the mines. I had my mother when I went here nearly thirty years ago, thinking of a better life. Oh damn was I wrong._

_I never thought that our living here would be, harder. I couldn't find a job to support my ailing mother. We slept on the streets, scavenging food to get by. We were lucky even to have a decent meal once a day. I tried selling stuff, and no one bought anything from me at all. No one even gave a damn about us, from my mom to my companions._

_Then there were the times when those people who say they uphold the 'law of the land' (probably the law of their asses) and round many of us when we were getting 'desperate'. It ain't a pretty sight if they do though, since a lot of us always put off a fight._

_The time came when mother snapped. She ran around like some tra-la-la-ing dancer and was finally taken when she bumped into that pompous ******* officer and took her away. I knew she was weak, really weak, so she let herself be dragged away. Her toothless smile was the last thing I could remember, and the tears falling down from her cheeks. She probably knew there was no hope for her anyway, so she let herself be taken by them._

_One of the biggest questions in my mind was why the hell did she left me all alone? Why did she not be the mother I knew, and gave a damn about my well-being, even for once?! Why would she let me be here suffering, than being there on the Americas? Damn, I hated it. I hated the wake-up call when we thought this place was Utopia. I hated it that dad died, and I never knew where he was. I hated it that I knew I was going to die, and I can't do something about it. Most especially, I hated that damn queen, for letting us live that way like we were **** to be cleaned._

_Five years passed since we arrived on this stinking land and two years since mother was taken away when I met her. I continued selling creations, with no one even giving a glance at them. Then suddenly, as I was nodding off to sleep, someone began tapping my shoulder._

_"Good day sir," someone said in a polite squeaky voice that could only be a child. I didn't take any more notice and continued dozing off._

_"Er… How much is this?" I could still hear her courteous voice even then. Of course, my eyes flapped open in disbelief. She was gonna pester me even more if I let things go my way anyway._

_The first thing I noticed though, were her clothes. She was wearing this white dress that showed her small figure perfectly. She also had those dainty black shoes. The dress seemed to be of expensive material, so it was obvious that she was a noble. Or a noble's daughter. _

_I first thought of brushing her off. I thought that all children of the upper-class people were brats who were demeaning as well as mini-sluts and bastards like their mommies and daddies. They often throw or toss my wares aside like their toys which they grew tired of playing with. I spent four years bitterly suffering this kind of discrimination. _

_The second thing I noticed was her eyes. The first thing they reminded me of were ice crystals._

_But these crystals were warm._

_Her small smile was even warmer._

_"Sir?" she said, looking at me like I was some kind of idiot. Damn, I hate making a bad first impression. It'll stick for life!_

_"What do you want?" I said with my husky voice as I snapped back. I was losing a good image from her, and I hate it._

_She then showed me a mini bird-like contraption (that looks more like boxes with a kinda glider and had the width that can fit snugly in my hands) that was one of the things I made on sale. _

_"What is this?" she asked at me. _

_"Well-" I started. I didn't want to sound stupid at introducing a creation of mine. "It's a mini-copter."_

_Her eyes then became wide-eyed with wonder. _What a gullible girl_ was my thought._

_"What's that?" She then asked, awestruck._

_"It's a device that can fly," I then said, as I began twisting that pretzel-thing that I didn't give a damn of what it was. The small thin metal propellers at the back started to turn._

_"Wow!" she then exclaimed as the device slowly ascended for a couple of feet, but then started to glide freely above our heads. "Incredible!"_

_For the three minutes it remained airborne, she couldn't take her eyes off that little machine. Hahaha! Someone finally recognized my genius!! It was for the first time I saw someone liked a creation I made, and somehow, It felt really fuzzy. I didn't experience that feeling at all since my last family was taken away from me._

_"How much is it?!" She then asked in excitement as she caught the mini-copter with her two tiny hands._

_"For today, it's free," I shrugged as I cleaned the store out of my creations. "I don't want money anyway." Half of it was true. I was just happy that someone gave a damn about a creation of mine and desired to buy it. Lucky her._

_"Thank you!!" she then said as she toyed with her mini-copter and turned back. She then stopped. "Are… are you sure about not selling it to me?" she then asked with that innocent smile._

_"Geez, I told you already! It's fine!!"_

_"What about your master? The one who made this?"_

_"I'm the one who made it you know. Now scram!"_

_She began to turn once more when she looked at me, with her smile._

_"Thank you a lot."_

_Sigh. Someone was admiring me…_

_"Yeah. Come back if you want more," I said as I prepared myself for a nap and leaned against the wall of the apartment._

_"I will!!" She then said as she waved goodbye._

_I spat on the floor in acknowledgement. Hey! I was sleepy then and she had the nerve to wake me up!_

_Yet then, despite the boredom and droopy eyes I had, it made me glad that I didn't shoo her away. Somehow though, but I didn't realize it yet. _

_That I had fallen for that trap._

_'Love'._

_ Ick._

_Well, it made me kinda tired and all so, good night._

_

* * *

_

_July 11, 1889_

_Well, it's kinda obvious that I'm walking again ya know! And now, I think _I am lost. _But anyway, let me continue._

_I was dozing off again as usual. Well, it was pretty hot and I had no choice-! _

_I was under the table and murmuring the name of my mother when she appeared._

_This time, she brought food. _

_Yeah! Call me a street rat if you will but I my stomach cried out to me, begging me to take that basket holding food!_

_She then took a top I made and told me that the small cakes inside the picnic basket were her payment and ran off. Who would I be to refuse? I shared it with my mates, and they were pretty happy._

_I'm gonna speed things up a bit, since my hands are growing sore of using only my fingers to write (I lost the quill I had taken from a rubbish heap if you may ask)._

_One lazy afternoon, after about the tenth time she continued giving me food in exchange of my 'creative' playthings, she introduced herself to me._

_"Don't you want to ask me of my name dear sir?" she asked in that annoying shrill voice of hers._

_"And why the hell would I like to know?" I said, folding my arms and muttering that she's as pompous as all those people living in their luxurious palaces._

_"Because…" she then took my hand with her laced one. "I intend for you to come with me home."_

_And of course I quickly let go of her hand._

_"Why should I go with you? To serve your family and do what every frivolous whim they want me to do?" On the other hand, it sounds much better than this hell hole._

_"No," she said, with that grating smile of hers not leaving her face. "My sole intention, dear sir is to help you to study in school. My father intends for you to work in our watch-making business when you're older."_

_"I don't intend to leave my friends here alone," I said in protest. I don't want them to go from me. They were always there with me, even to my mother's death they remained with me._

_She still remained composed._

_"Then we'll let them live with us. They'll become servants of our households."_

_Heh. I really didn't want them to come. But I had no other choice. She looked trustful enough. And the situation we were in was hopeless. So, I told her 'fine'._

_From there, we waved our handkerchiefs (if we had any) goodbye to the life on the street and into the life of service and bars._

_As we were walking, she handed me another piece of bread to which I ate with much gusto._

_"If you don't want to introduce yourself first then I'll be the one making the introductions," she said, as the servants then went ahead to escort us to the fancy-schmancy ride we were on. "My name's Rosalind." She smiled more._

_What should I tell my name be? I never really had a name. My mother only called me 'my child' and I forgot what nickname my father christened me with. Gotta think fast!_

_"B-bard. Bardroy." I said the first thing that came to my head! Am I this dim-witted?!_

_She laughed and then extended her hand._

_"Well then, a pleasure." She said, as we shook hands. "For meeting such a wonderful toymaker, sir… Bardroy." She tittered again._

_And that's where it began. Y'know, it's pretty ironic. She was nice and sweet and all, but I never really wanted to experience love, much more cherish that feeling. When I met her, however, I had no other option but to. I was like in a platoon, pushed by the enemy with nowhere to run. Either I die, or I become captive. I wasn't stupid, so I chose the second. I'm still not sure if I'm happy with it or not_[x2] _._

_

* * *

_

_July 13, 1889_

_I've finally reached it! What should I do? What should I say? It's a long time since, and I don't really have the guts to be here. I left her there for five years… _

_I could still recall it. Hazily, yeah (as you grow old your memories slip away) but it's still there._

_I was finally accepted into 'er family. I was probably sixteen then, I don't really quite recall. We've been pretty close then. I've earned their trust. The business was going pretty well, thanks to me hehe. Our stocks were increasing, and our products were on demand._

_Rose and I had been close. Nah, not as close as you'd imagine but we were more closer than friends. She'd let me in her room and we'd converse about almost anything, from the happenings in her father's business to politics, the books she lent me, to our personal lives._

_"Say, Sir Bardroy," she'd giggle. "Have you taken a fancy to anyone?"_

_I scoff at such a question. "No, my lady. Why'd you say that?"_

_My lips were slightly quivering from the lie I just let out. And that's just one of them._

_I never told her of my background. Sure, I was that illegal American immigrant that can make gizmos and all, but that was all she knew._

_Until that night._

_Now, nobles, as I found out had their marriages arranged. At sixteen (she's also my age by the way) she was going to marry the most important person on the land who was almost thrice her age!_

_And, like every lady, she desired someone more… er, dashing._

_A night four months before her wedding, I invited her to the stables. It was her birthday that time._

_"It's so dark!" she squealed when I led her by the hand inside. _

_"Wait a moment, fair lady." I said as I let go of her hand and slowly walked towards the middle (I should know of course!). "_Voila!_" I then lit a flame._

_Shards of glass in different colors surrounded the lamp where the flame was lit. And with the gizmo I call a Spinna, the glass shards spinned, dazzling the light and the walls. From there, I let the small, mechanical nightingales out, as they sang the 'London Bridge' tune._

_I then took her hand, gave her a bunch of roses under my coat._

_"May I?" _

_She held out her hand and nodded._

_When I pulled her close, I could smell her scent. It reminded me of spring, the smell of cherries and fresh air. Like the smell my nostrils had taken in when I had my freedom._

_Our dance was slow, our steps careful, and our faces close, I could smell her breath. And that was the only thing I hated from that dance._

_I know my moves weren't as graceful as yours, Rosaline but damn it, I didn't care. Because I finally realized it. What I craved for. And so did you._

_"Bard I-" she said as her spin froze. "Please… don't let me go out there and marry that old man."_

_I let go of her hand. The birds stopped singing. I knew where she was going to._

_"Are you touched in the head my lady? _Your father _said so. I'm but a mere worker."_

_She then held my hand as I was about to turn my back._

_"I don't- I don't want to marry him. I don't love him."_

_I slapped it aside. I finally lost it._

_"Stupid woman! Do you think that life is a fairytale where you'll marry the one you love?! Did that nutshell of yours conclude that 'love' matters and not your happiness?! **Think** you foolish bitch! That man can help you be happy! Who knows? With that riches and power of his, you might love him!"_

_"But I don't dammit!" She screamed, her eyes watering. "I don't care if he's the richest noble I met! I don't care if he's the most powerful earl in England! You know why Bard? You know why I don't love him? Because despite all of that, despite the blessings he receive, that hypocrite-that bastard doesn't earn it! And also… because-"_

_My mouth then was forcibly placed on hers. I could feel her tears dripping down as I felt her soft lips._

_"There's already someone else in here Bard." She pointed at her chest, her voice meek. "And it's you."_

_I dearly savored that moment. I really wished that I could kiss her lips, and find out what it'll be like. Now, that's all I want it to be. A mere wish._

_"You can never be happy with me, Rose. You can't and never will be."_

_I then left her there._

_At that moment, even now, I regret that I invited her at the stables._

_Yet, why was I happy that her feelings were the same as mine?_


End file.
